Not even!

I think the title of this post should actually be “Why Cell C’s marketing team should consider a career in sales”. Now, I’d imagine Trevor Noah (tw) to be a pretty smart guy, but to be sold into becoming the face of a widely considered struggling brand, they must have sold him the world. Not just in payment, but in the overall strategy going forward. And well done to them.

I don’t recall Cell C (tw) getting as much exposure as they have over the past few weeks, ever. It started off with praise and applause, then the ‘it was all a scam‘ fiasco when everyone (particularly journos who felt like their little feelings were hurt for being betrayed) slated the campaign at every opportunity. Now the logo story. When will it end? It probably has. And all Cell C can do from here is improve, because they are, essentially, starting from the bottom. And I have a feeling that they will.

Why? Because what the’ve done is completely polarise themselves to the market. You get the people who love what they’ve done, and the people who absolutely hate it. Both sides have the same amount of interest in waiting for what they’ll do next, and both sides are so passionate about their standpoints that they will vehemently argue over any platform, live or online, to try and prove their point. The result: A conversation about the brand. Awesome. So now Cell C has the whole country focussing on their next move, and when you have that much pressure to perform, you work your ass off to make it happen.

On the other side though, what if they don’t? What if this all came too suddenly, they’re not prepared for it, and Cell C loses everything? What does this mean for their new CEO?

Trevor has become the face, the captain of this huge faceless ship. It’s a lot easier for us to blame individuals when things go wrong, because shouting at a large cold building never helped anydoby. It’s exactly what they wanted to achieve with the new campaign: Speak to an individual (Trevor) and he’ll sort you out. People buy in to that. But it has it’s disadvantages too.

Bottom line: If the brand you advocate goes down, you’re going down with them. It’s the captain’s duty. Let’s just hope the powers that be (unfortunately I don’t think Trevor is one of them) can steer this ship past the iceberg and sail it to greener pastures.

If you know us at all, you’ll know we’re very big into correct spelling and grammar (like, who isn’t?), so when I saw this Samsung animation while watching an Idols video on DStv.com (misspelling ‘tomorrow’), I thought it had to be shared (and hopefully fixed).

Text 1 (incorrect)

Text 2 (correct)

Oops! Someone fire someone (or at least give them a good spanking, then send us the video).

On a flight to Cape Town recently, I met a guy who is almost as passionate about South Africa as my mate Nic. This guy, Steve English, is a true believer in South Africans being good samaritans. He’s developed a system to show it off, and in the process, hopefully help people.

Reward-if-found – the honesty incentive – is a simple concept: Place a sticker on your worthy possessions, and if one of them ever gets lost, the person who finds it SMSs the number on the sticker to 33105. The back-end system then notifies the owner via SMS and email, the owner and finder are connected and make arrangements to do the swap. The name obviously implies that a reward will be given for finding, which is a small price to pay for data retrieval, buying another device, the hassle of claiming from insurance, etc.

I challenged him on a few things though:

Me: “This can’t obviously replace insurance, ‘cos not everyone is a good person.”

Steve: “It’s not an insurance replacement, it’s relying on the goodwill of your fellow South Africans. Insurance companies are interested in this because they see their customers’ claims being reduced significantly.”

Me: “So can’t I just stick something I made myself on my possessions and hope people will phone me?”

Steve: “Of course you could, people do already (like on their luggage), but the service which is easy to use by sending one SMS or logging on to the site is a guarantee to get the original owner in contact with you, and the name suggests you’ll be rewarded, which is only fair.”

Me: “But what if someone holds my laptop ransom and demands a lot more than the reward I want to offer them?”

Steve: “RICA enforces all cellphone numbers to be attached to a specific person with all of their details. Should someone want to take a chance like that, the owner can contact us and we will go the legal route, bringing in lawyers and the Police, because we have their details and they can be found.”

So they’ve done their homework. But what I want to know is:

1. Would you use it?

2. If yes, would you pay a monthly fee relying on the honesty of others?

South Africa’s most audacious television personality, Gary the Tooth Fairy, is spreading his wings into new territories. For the first time in the history of the National Grahamstown Arts Festival – and local entertainment, for that matter – a mystical phenomenon will be performing on stage in his very own, unique live comedy show.

Gary the Tooth Fairy will be sharing his distinctive magical view on the world with audiences at the St. Andrew’s Hall in Grahamstown, daily from 22 June until 2 July.

M-Net viewers have seen the master illusionist, who unsurprisingly is the local individual with the most fans on Facebook (90 000), walk on water, communicate with birds and do all things fantastic to steal the limelight away from the country’s number one general entertainment channel.

Gary’s show will be gutsy, daring and different, with all the ingredients to boost his cult status. But will he take a dig at the broadcaster? Will the phenomenon in the tutu-shaped pantaloon pant peel back mysteries like why the Tokoloshe still owes him money and what the real colour of Santa Claus’ suit is. What is his comedy show all about?

All Gary the Tooth Fairy wants to – and can – reveal at this stage is “that … uhm … it’s a masterpiece … it’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to laugh your molars out … if you miss it, you will want to rip your wings off … It’s CLEVA.”

The show is directed by veteran comedian Rob van Vuuren, produced by Whacked Entertainment Management and sponsored by M-Net. Tickets are available at Computicket.

Watch the TV promo here.

I’m not a fussy guy (okay, that’s a lie), but when I’m sitting in your restaurant (Maestro on Malibongwe, that means you), and I order a decaf coffee, it’s not a figure of speech – IT MEANS I WANT A FUCKING DECAF.

If you don’t have it, just tell me.

I was up wide awake at 2am plotting all the miserable things I wanted to do to you. You’re lucky I’m feeling more rational, if not a little tired, today.

Still, next time I come there I’m gonna poke you in the eye…!

A few years ago I was chatting to a mate of mine about the Rand Show. He asked me if I was going and I said “No, I went last year and the year before that, it’s the same every year” to which he replied “Yes, but you’re not the same every year”, which made so much sense.

Last year the pool features on display wouldn’t interest most people. But, if you’ve recently bought a house, with a pool, the display is now suddenly something you’d consider looking at. This is only one silly example, but you get my point.

As the years go by, and we grow up, we appreciate more and more. As another Fathers Day has come and gone, I’ve grown a new respect for fathers other than my own. Fathers who are also my friends. I’ve realised that as time goes on I’m lucky and privileged to be able to see how my mates are raising their kids. I’m silently and unknowingly learning from them, subconsciously formulating some sort of strategy as to how I will one day raise my own little army of handsome devils that will see me as their hero.

This post is really just to commend all the fathers in the world, especially my mates Rich, Mike and Simon, and for letting me steal their ideas on daddyhood. If I can take all the awesomeness from each of them, my children will take over the world. I can’t fucking wait.

A few months ago I was introduced to Fiverr, a service where you can either sell or buy something, particularly a service, for $5. The administrators make a buck off every sale and you get to pocket the remaining $4. Simple enough.

The services range from promising more Facebook fans to positively reviewing products to listening to your life story on Skype, the list goes on and on and they range from very normal to very, very bizarre. To date I’ve only used it for small translations for work, but then I found this guy: The young, Canadian Alex Buckingham. He said that he’d write and record a song all about YOU for a mere $5. So I thought “Fuck it, why not?”

With the brief “Have a look at my website and some of my vids to get a sense of what I’m like”, I paid the 5 bucks and this is the fun (auto-tuned) result I got the next day, too awesome. Thanks Al.

Now go and get yours done! Tell him Don sent you.

Following a conversation that Rich…! and I had, we decided to design and print a couple T-shirts for a few like-minded individuals, guys mostly. Okay all guys. And, as usual, what started out as a fun ‘couple tees for a few peeps’ built into a lot more dudes on the list, for them to be packaged awesomely (including a very wordy and poncey tongue-in-cheek letter about taking this step to corporate clothing to align with our 12 intrinsic organisational values) and sent to their doors.

The idea and design of the shirt was a collaborative effort by Rich…! and myself for a (hopefully) ongoing project for Thunk!, but ideas without execution is nothing. Enter Trevor Mey.

Trev came up with the idea of how to package it, and he made it happen. We got some really rad exposure from guys like Mike Stopforth, Marc Forrest, Erik Vermeulen, Craig Rodney, Justin Spratt and mad props from some very influential people in the online space. Awesome. They thanked Rich…! and myself, but the real rockstar is Trev for the tough task of making it happen. He’s a legend, and you can’t have him, ‘cos he’s ours. Get your own.

It had to happen sooner or later.

When I started doing stand-up comedy, I enjoyed the shock-effect comedy style through stories about penises, vajayjays, anal leakage, giving birth, fingers in orifices, faeces, the list goes on. It’s easy comedy. Farts are funny – fact. I have now, somehow, started to steer away from the ‘dirty’ comedy and more toward a more informed, cleaner way of making people laugh. It wasn’t really my intention, it just seems to have happened that way.

From the beginning, I asked my mother very, very nicely to not be tempted to click on any of my vids, as the thought of her listening to the tripe that spewed out of my mouth was devastating enough, never mind should she actually have seen any of it. She’d always say: “But Don, we’ve seen lots of comedians who swear and talk about sex.” To which I would always reply: “True, but you haven’t birthed or raised any of them, there’s a difference.”

Another goal I set out to achieve was to use new material every time I performed at my comedy haven, and where it all began, The Comedy Underground at Cool Runnings in Melville. Not only does it keep my sets fresh, should people have seen me before, but it also forces me to build material for the World Tour one day. Or at least a one man show to start.

Today, I think I have a set that I can proudly send to my mother to watch. It happened on Sunday 14 March, and consisted of no material that could possibly get you to imagine me or other people in compromising positions, sexual or otherwise.

So mom, it wasn’t my initial intention, but this set was for you. P.S. The swearing is for effect, I’m normally much more subtle.

Spotted at OR Tambo.

“While the 4 little piggies were engrossed in foosball, the big bad wolf huffed and puffed and blew down the plane.”

Snapped this in Kya Sands yesterday on the way back from Lanseria Airport.

“Yoh! A motorbike ridden by a helmet. How is that possible?!”

Leave your captions in the comments below. Awesome.

My mate Hoox’s mom was diagnosed with breast cancer 2 months ago. They removed it all, but she still has to undergo the very heavy task of chemotherapy for another year. After her first session, Hoox, who’s currently stationed in Albania, made a video to tell his mom she’s not alone.

From one baldy to another. Too awesome. You’re a legend, bro.

This concept seems so simple, yet not many people get it. Let me explain:

Every person has a different theory as to why they participate in social media. Some to learn from others, some hoping to teach others, most to be the first person to share something before everybody else does, etc. The one thing is, though, that we don’t really understand each other’s ways of doing things, so we just go about treating everybody like they’re at the other end of our game, without realising that we’re also on the other end of theirs. And if you’re not acting appropriately on the other side of someone else’s game, the game isn’t really successful.

Another of these ‘ways to media socially’ are the people who feel that every single part of their lives should be shared with the world. It’s no secret that I want to famous, so when I’m out doing things like comedy or MC’ing or attending rad shit, I wanna tell people. Hell, I’ve even shared about my morning bowel movements once or twice. But when it comes to the serious stuff, the really personal business (yes, bowel movements are personal, but they’re a daily occurrence and they’re funny) then that sort of thing shouldn’t be shared online.

This kind of thing needs to be shared with friends, loved ones, people who take a keen interest in your life and would be there for you when you need it the most, not the 1000ish friends you have on Facebook or your hundreds of followers on Twitter. Yes, some of them may care, but do you really need to share it all?

These are two examples lifted off Lamebook, but I’ve seen these kinds of status updates in both my Facebook and Twitter feeds by people that I know personally. I understand that sometimes you need an outlet, a place to vent and share your frustrations, but before posting this stuff, always consider what you would have done before the boom of social media. Would you have taken out a newspaper front page headline? No. You would have picked up the phone, or met up with a mate and spoken about it, live, in person. Every ounce of me wants to reply saying it’s not cool, but every time I let it slide. I understand that I’m on the other end of your game and you expect me to just understand. Well no more.

If you want to post personal things online which clearly should be dealt with offline, I’ll let you know, for free, just ‘cos I’m a nice guy like that. You have to learn somehow. And if you think your mates are doing the same, let them know, it’ll make for a much better online social experience. Although, it may affect the gems that hit Lamebook. Ok, use your discretion. Awesome.

I managed to get (read: wangled my way in) an open seat at Nokia’s The Way We Live Next 3.0 gig this morning, partly to give Rich…! some man-love should the media/blogger attendees not like what he had to say (this of course did not happen – he rocked out), and partly to see what Nokia has in store for the world.

I started writing a recap of the event, but Paul Jacobson beat me to it, and probably did a better job of it anyway. Overall, I’m lank excited about the Nokia Maps Player, and the Nokia Booklet 3G, which is one sexy little piece of equipment.

Read Paul’s post here. Awesome.

That’s my Don-ism for ‘The fear of receiving gifts and not knowing the correct amount of enthusiasm to return to present-giver whilst more than likely looking like an awkward pedo’.

I don’t like receiving gifts. Birthdays, Christmas, it’s awful. And I figured out why: I feel awkward when someone gives me something. The very bizarre thing though, is that I love to give gifts. The look on someone’s face when they figure out what it is. Priceless.

Hypocritical? Of course. A problem? Absolutely.

The reason for this post is because in a few days time I’ll be celebrating my birthday, and as like all birthdays, everyone is asking ‘What would you like for your birthday?’. My immediate response is ‘Nothing, please.’ People don’t really like this answer. I have 2 major problems with present-receiving at birthdays:

1. I suffer from Reactophobia (or Doronophobia perhaps), often feeling a sense of letdown on the present-giver’s face as my subtle non-bounce-around-the-room reaction is, well, just that. Too much enthusiasm looks like you’re acting. There’s such a fine line.

2. Why – just because I happened to be born on a specific day – do I deserve to get rewarded? If anyone should get something, it should be my folks. After all, it was their hard work that got me here in the first place. If I hit 100 years old, now that’s a feat, gimme something for that, preferably in the shape of a little blue pill and a dozen beautiful blondes. Awesome.

So I’ll keep this short and sweet: Please don’t buy me anything for my birthday. You don’t want me to feel awkward do you? And I really don’t deserve it, all I managed to do to get to this point in my life was stay alive. It’s not rocket science.

While trying to make a name for herself in the South African social media space, Nadia van der Merwe found herself on the wrong side of the critics’ good books. She created a digital resumé that she, to my understanding, wanted to use to get her name out there, displaying her knowledge and love for the industry.

Some people liked it, most thought it was a bad move. But…

The objective was to make a name for herself in the South African social media space. Whether it started out well, or not so well, today not many people are unfamiliar with the name Nadia van der Merwe. I can almost guarantee that going this particular route (the bad press) wasn’t her plan all along, but Nadia really did make a name for herself.

Did it play out how I would imagine she envisioned it? No. Did she fulfill the primary objective? Absolutely. How she capitalises on this now, however, remains to be seen.

The boys at Jo’blog were kinda jealous that we didn’t have any online social media resumé of sorts, and thought Nadia’s video was great fodder for a vid of our own too. We don’t look this good in lingerie, but we make out alright.

People always tell me I’m one of the most sharing people they know. I share my lunch, my dreams, my toothbrush and my bed. So it’s fitting that I share yet another stand-up comedy gig of mine right here on Jo’blog. Awesome.

Tattoos and stand-up comedy. These are primarily the two biggest conversations I have with people nowadays on a personal level.

What comes up more often than not are people’s longing to either do comedy or get a tattoo, but they just never had the guts to go through with it, almost always blaming the ‘too scared to get on stage’, or the ‘permanence’ or ’soon-to-be-boredom’ with tattoos. It’s like a broken record.

I’ve been creating and writing comedy for as long as I can remember. I was fortunate enough to have a group of friends, including my family, who could see humour in everything, which led me to begin writing things down so that I could one day use it, either on stage, TV or in film.

A few years ago when I was doing video production I did some work with Riaad Moosa. On the last day of shooting, we were leaving the set and he shouted across the parking lot “Get on stage Don!”, after our earlier conversation about open comedy spots at Cool Runnings in Melville. It was an awesome thing to hear from someone like him. So I continued to write comedy, but never really considered getting on stage to actually use it.

Then last year we were invited to Missing Link for a talk by John Vlismas about creativity, and obviously used comedy as an example. One of the guys asked him how people can get into it and he mentioned the open spots on Sunday nights at Cool Runnings. At that stage of my life I needed something to occupy my mind and free time, so after the talk I asked John how to book a spot, and got the number. Three days later, while driving to a meeting, I phoned Whacked Management and booked myself a spot. I put the phone down and felt like vomiting. It was honestly one of the scariest things I had to do. Taking that first step was huge, but now it was done, and all I had to do was show up and perform.

Long story short, I performed my first gig (which very few people have seen) and even though I look back on it now and think it wasn’t even close to what I’d expect to be a good set, I walked off stage feeling like I’d wrestled a lion, and tamed the bastard. No-one can ever explain that feeling of total bliss. Too rad.

The thing is, the big step wasn’t actually getting on stage, it was taking that first step and getting booked in. Once I knew I had to do it, I knuckled down and made it happen. I wrote a set, I consulted friends, I perfected it so that I could deliver as effective a show as possible. Now I just can’t get enough.

This doesn’t only apply to comedy or getting a tattoo. What, in business, are you thinking about doing but are too scared to implement? Do you have an idea that could possibly help your business? The worst that can happen is you fail, but at least you can say you tried.

This post (although old, but definitely still relevant) explains how, while few CEOs are as candid about the potential for failure as Isdell, many are wrestling with the same problem, trying to get their organisations to cosy up to the risk-taking that innovation requires. “Everyone fears failure. But breakthroughs depend on it. The best companies embrace their mistakes and learn from them.”

It goes back to that saying “You always regret the things you didn’t do.” You’ll never know unless you’ve tried.

Just do it.