You do not exist! That’s right folks, there is no Africa, well according to these guys anyway.
They will find you a hotel anywhere, yes, anywhere. Except of course if you want to go to Africa.
That doesn’t count…!
May 2004
Monthly Archive
“No really, can I bring my dog inside?”
Spotted on a pillar at the front of a material factory shop on the East Rand.
MNET: You should be ashamed of yourself
Posted by Rich...! under Music , Television on May 30 2004 at 6:29 PMI certainly would be if I was responsible for the horrendous production of your new show Project Fame. What are you thinking? Not only is it a blatant rip-off of the BBC’s far superior Fame Academy, but the standard of production is horrific. As an ex-lampie, I’ll be first in line to help bitch slap the lighting designer/director, and your stage is far too big, where’s the intimacy?. Oh and don’t get me started on the continuity presenters and their insulting jokes. You’re even bringing back the x-factor cliche, I can’t believe it, didn’t that die with Idols two seasons ago? I feel sick, I really do.
Fucking amateurs…!
When they replaced the 3-way stop signs down the road from my house to a set of robots, we thought traffic would run smoother. It does, but in one direction. They forgot to put a ‘Turn-right’ filter from the one side for cars to get a little head-start.
From a slow, yet constant flow of traffic from all directions, to an almost ‘One-way’ street. The only bonus is that travelers experience both sides of the fence in one day, ‘cos they need to get to and from work.
Could be worse. Could be me.
Why is it that I like this absolutely useless site, that does absolutely nothing, so dang much?
Ribbit…!
Okay, so this is more of a chain letter, but such is life.
Oh, and I apologise about the length, but felt that it really need to be inserted in its entirety to show the magnitude of the naivety/stupidity:
| National campaign to reduce petrol price Please pass it on! This is about petrol prices and an invitation to join the resistance. But the end of this year petrol prices are set to sour even higher. If we want petrol price to come down, we all need to take some intelligent, united action. Last year there was a “don’t buy petrol day”-but the oil companies just laughed at that because they knew that we wouldn’t “hurt” ourselves by refusing to buy petrol. It was more of an inconvenience to us than a problem to them. But, whoever thought of the ides, has come up with a plan that can really work. Please read it and join with us! By now you probably thinking petrol priced at about R4.50 is cheap. It is currently at +- R4.30 for regular and unleaded. Now that the oil companies and the OPEC nations have conditioned us to think that the cost of a liter is cheap at R4.50, we need to take aggressive action to teach them that buyers control the marketplace………………. not the sellers. With the price of petrol going up each day, we consumers need to take action. The only way we are going to see the price of petrol come down is if we hit someone in the pocket by not purchasing their petrol. Here’s the idea: For the rest of the year, don’t purchase any petrol from the two biggest oil companies (which are now one), ESSO and BP. if they are not selling any petrol, they will be inclined to reduce their prices. If the reduce their prices, the other companies will have to follow suit. But to have an impact we need to reach literally millions of petrol buyers. It is really simple to do! Now, don’t wimp out at this point…keep reading, and all will be revealed as to how simple it is to reach millions of people. If those 3 million people get excited and pass this on to 10 friends each then 30 million consumers will have been reached. If it goes one level further, you guessed it three hundred million people! Again, all you have to do is to send this to 10 people. That’s all. How long will all that take? If each of us sends this e-mail out to 10 people within one day of receipt, all 300 million people could conceivably be contacted within the next 8 days! Acting together we can make a difference. If you’re fed up paying too much for petrol, please pass this message on. COMMENCING 24 MAY 2004 DON’T BUY BP Power to the people! |
Oh wake the fuck up South Africa. My word, what are intelligent people doing sending round rubbish like this? Do you believe for one second that this will make any difference whatsoever? If you do, you’re a sadder bunch than I thought. This is the equivalent of holding someone for ransom, and remember “we never give in to the demands of terrorists”. Why? Because it would set a precedent! Also, don’t be so bloody naive, this will never catch on, thus the misguided efforts of the few (idiots), will go largely unnoticed.
If you don’t like the petrol price, power-walking may be the sport for you…!
“Scientists say the movie isn’t realistic because the ice age happens so quickly. But you know, it’s not a documentary – I only have two hours.”
A quote from Roland Emmerich director of “The Day After Tomorrow,” in which New York gets frozen over, quoted in the New York Daily News.
Link from Reuters.
Ghosts are terrorizing citizens. The mayor of Niger’s capital city Niamey has ordered all the chiefs in the city to stop this curse by means of traditional sacrifices.
Link via Reuters.
I just got mailed this:
From: davidtungay2@ecplaza.net
Subject: Business Partnership Required
Date: 26 May 2004 13:59:28 GMT+02:00
To: rich@missinglink.co.za
Reply-To: davidtungay4@zwallet.com
Attn: The President/CEO
I am Mr. David Tungay, Provincial Director StandardBank of South
Africa, Johannesburg Branch. I have urgent and very confidential business proposition for you.
On June 6, 2000,a foreign Oil consultant/contractor with the South
Africa Mining Corporation, Mr. Richard Moss made a numbered time (Fixed) Deposit for twelve calendar months, valued at US$25,000,000.00 (Twenty- five Million Dollars) in my branch. Upon maturity, I sent a routine notification to his forwarding address but got no reply. After a month, we sent a reminder and finally we discovered from his contract employers, the South Africa Mining Corporation that Mr.Richard Moss died from an automobile accident. On further investigation, I found out that he died without making a WILL, and all attempts to trace his next of kin was fruitless.I therefore made further investigation and discovered that Mr. Richard Moss did not declare any kin or relations in all his official documents, including his Bank Deposit paperwork in my Bank. This sum of US$25,000,000.00 is still sitting in my Bank and the interest is being rolled over with the principal sum at the end of each year.No one will ever come forward to claim it. According to South Africa Law, at the expiration of 5 (five) years, the money will revert to the ownership of the South Africa Government if nobody applies to claim the fund.Consequently, my proposal is that I will like you as a foreigner to stand in as the next of kin to Mr. Richard Moss so that the fruits of this old man’s labor will not get into the hands of some
corrupt government officials. This is simple, I will like you to provide immediately your full names and address so that the Attorney will prepare the necessary documents and affidavits which will put you in place as the next of kin. We shall employ the service of two Attorneys for drafting and notarization of the WILL and to obtain the necessary documents and letter of probate/administration in your favor for the transfer.A bank account in any part of the world which you will provide will then facilitate the transfer of this money to you as the beneficiary/next of kin. The money will be paid into your account for us to share in the ratio of 60% for me and 40% for you.There is no risk at all as all the paperwork for this transaction will be done by the Attorney and my position as the Branch Manager guarantees the successful execution of this transaction. If you are interested, please reply immediately via the private email address below. Upon your response, I shall then provide you with more details and relevant documents that will help you understand the transaction.Please observe utmost confidentiality, and rest assured that this transaction would be most profitable for both of us because I shall require your assistance to invest my share in your country.
Awaiting your urgent reply via my email:davidtungay4@zwallet.com
Thanks and regards.
Mr.David Tungay.
Oh well, it’s a welcome change from all those Nigerians…!
Lazing on a Saturday afternoon watching TV a few years ago, a tall, bald Brit sat on a rock on a mountain in front of a makeshift braai. Imagine French toast. Now imagine a French toast sandwich, filled with cubes of ham, grated cheese and a few select herbs for that extra ‘yum’ factor.
Ainsley Harriot is visiting South Africa.
If you haven’t been exposed to his charisma and absolute love for the kitchen, check this out.
R5 coins are going to be safer from now on. All sorts of built-in security measures to prevent fraud.
I can’t wait ’til my neighbour tries to rip one off and it explodes into a purple spray of skin-burning liquid, or it’s temperature rises in seconds, melting and destroying everything it comes into contact with.
Yay for the Reserve Bank!
Should a man that’s just accidentally shot and killed his own daughter go to prison, or has he already been punished enough? In this case I tend to lean towards the latter, however, why was he shooting a car thief in the head in the first place (apparently, this is what he thought he was doing)? This is the very reason I don’t carry a gun, they rarely if ever help, and usually end up in the death of innocent people. I wonder what “Vleis” Visage thought when he watched Bowling for Columbine?
I wonder what he’ll think if he watches it again tomorrow…!
“Jy’s die girl vir wie ek soek,
Jy’s die cherrie op my sjokolade koek”
These were the words to the closing song on the local dial-in Afrikaans music program, Belboks, as sung by the local cowboy-like country ‘groepie’, Die Cambells. You’ve noticed that high-way traffic slows near a car accident? This show nets its viewers using this exact principle.
There I was, calmly flipping through my 5 channels in the near pointless search for something interesting, when I got stuck (more than likely with thousands of other innocents) on Belboks. And I could not change the channel. It was fascinating.
I don’t know what it is about the infantile wording (see above), badly composed midi backtrack, Ed Wood-esque editing techniques/budget video’s, and the Pep store apparel that makes Afrikaans music so darn watchable. Even if only for the horror effect. And no, I don’t mean all Afrikaans music, as there are many local artists around that actually have a lot of talent But darn-skippy, I do mean most of them.
With the amount and quality of music out there, both locally and internationally, you would think that the Afrikaans music product would have to improve in order to sell. I mean, it’s a highly competitive market. But being a CD-store ex-pat, I know that it does regardless. Well. And, it’s obviously big enough in this country to warrant a prime-time show about it. I have theories as to why, but they’re tenuous at best. Here goes:
As a fairly unique people (Afrikaans is really only spoken in Southern Africa), I think that they listen to this ‘music’ because they feel a need to separate themselves as a people, and will hold on to anything that is uniquely theirs. the Scots have the kilt, the Zulu’s have their dancing, the Dutch have windmills. The Afrikaans have been kicked around as much as anybody in this country, and I believe they are still fighting for identity.
I’m just glad that with the localisation of Afrikaans, this particular identity will probably not spread beyond the shore of its home, like SARS did, and I hope that the only person it will kill, is me.
How could any self-respecting human being let this show air on TV?
Charlies Angels meets female Floyd, except these chicks don’t get drunk. The show is so bad that you’d think they were drunk. Three not-so-hot chicks traveling around the country saving lives by making gourmet meals. A real winner.
Someone’s daddy definitely has a finger in the BBC pie.
As a video editor I crit every aspect of shows and movies and how they’ve been edited. Someone should tell their editors to pay attention to a little thing called TV-cropping. Yes, I know it looks good and it all fits in the frame of your editing suite, but TV’s tend to cut a bit out, quite a bit in fact. Which is why I, and the rest of the country, couldn’t read where your important mission was taking place, because we could only see the top third of the words that appeared on the bottom of the screen.
Terrible.
I think I’ve had all the Nige and Bob a man can take. I can’t say the entire campaign has been a flop, I’m sure it did great things for your brand, however it’s time to let go… move on. Your agency are really bleeding this dry, perhaps you have to let go there too.
Yours on bended knee,
Rich…!
I think I’ve had all the Nige and Bob a man can take. I can’t say the entire campaign has been a flop, I’m sure it did great things for your brand, however it’s time to let go… move on. Your agency are really bleeding this dry, perhaps you have to let go there too.
Yours on bended knee,
Rich…!
I think I’ve had all the Nige and Bob a man can take. I can’t say the entire campaign has been a flop, I’m sure it did great things for your brand, however it’s time to let go… move on. Your agency are really bleeding this dry, perhaps you have to let go there too.
Yours on bended knee,
Rich…!
I think I’ve had all the Nige and Bob a man can take. I can’t say the entire campaign has been a flop, I’m sure it did great things for your brand, however it’s time to let go… move on. Your agency are really bleeding this dry, perhaps you have to let go there too.
Yours on bended knee,
Rich…!
I think I’ve had all the Nige and Bob a man can take. I can’t say the entire campaign has been a flop, I’m sure it did great things for your brand, however it’s time to let go… move on. Your agency are really bleeding this dry, perhaps you have to let go there too.
Yours on bended knee,
Rich…!
I think I’ve had all the Nige and Bob a man can take. I can’t say the entire campaign has been a flop, I’m sure it did great things for your brand, however it’s time to let go… move on. Your agency are really bleeding this dry, perhaps you have to let go there too.
Yours on bended knee,
Rich…!
