Just because I’m a paid subscriber, does not give you the right to send me irrelevant SMS spam.

Seriously, you have no right, not only is this blatant spam, it is also extremely badly targeted, two reasons I say this. Firstly, and I’m generalising here I know, most people that have the premier business package would not be 50 Cent fans (I’m not) and secondly, they can generally afford their own tickets thus don’t find your sms helpful, just an invasion. Send me news about the newst business thinker speaking in SA and I might not be so irritated. Better still read permission marketing.

It’s really basic stuff guys…!

Hey, things are looking up, we decided to get off our arses and register www.joblog.co.za. For the time being, (we’re back on our arses) it will simply forward to the typepad URL, but you can refer to us, or link to us, at the .co.za addy.

That was a hint kids…!

On my way back from an early morning shoot the other day, I was quite surprised at how many cars were still on the road at 09:30.

Now, on average, I’d say Joburgers start work between 8 and 9 every morning. Highways, byways, big roads, little roads and even dirt roads are jam-packed full of cars from about 06:30 till 09:00 every morning, without fail. So what were these lurkers doing after 09:00?

Well, I’m gonna tell you. I, in my great wisdom, have decided to perform the first ever drive-by survey. Easy questions, short answers.

What is your name?
How old are you?
Where do you live?
What is your profession?
Where have you driven from?
Where are you going?

Simple.

Now all I need is someone crazy enough to hang out of my passenger window with a pencil and clipboard! Any takers?

I’m sure by now you all know about the full screen menu you get when pressing the arrow keys on your DSTV remote. However last night, my finger slipped and I hit the “OK” button instead.

It turns out when you do this, the ‘DSTV Touch’ screen appears, which is a shortcut menu to stuff like weather, TV guide, games etc.

Arb, but handy…!

I spotted this while driving back from a client yesterday, and needless to say, I promptly headed to the nearest shop and bought myself a copy of the Sowetan. R2.50 well spent I say.

Here’s the deal, David Masenta (35) and Mgwanini Mololo (25) are to be married in a beautiful ceremony this Sunday… unfortunately, the young lovebirds died last Saturday.

Now this is wierd at any level, yet I guess you could say it’s quite romantic. A couple, so in love with each other, defy Death himself by showing that when it comes to matters of the heart, you can take it with you. Bizarrely, this is where the story starts getting a tad strange.

You see, all was not well in the Masenta-Mololo household, in fact, you would be forgiven for saying that they were going through a decidedly rough patch. I’m not sure what highlights this point more, the fact that they “quarreled” on the day they died, or the fact that the groom-to-be shot his 8-month pregnant fiance in anger before turning the gun on himself. Ah, aint love is a fickle beast?

Not to be put off by all the messy murder-suicide, family and friends would like to remember them as a the “happy couple” they once were. Thus the wedding will go on as planned:

Rumour has it Paul Meintjies is going to make a surprise appearance as the best man…!

Just got some superrad spam:

Visit correctional facilities…oh, woohoo! Anyway, I couldn’t resist, I followed the link:

Wow, you can marry your sister.

Jerry, Jerry…!

You really must read Michelle’s great post on Paul Meintjies a.k.a the third coming. An excerpt:

I seem to have missed this story, but I’m glad I did, Michelle’s commentary is perfect. If that poor bastard does rise again, he better be able to hold his breath really well.

His life assurer has apparently adopted a “wait and see” attitude…!

While browsing this site, I clicked on the About us link to see what Eyecandy’s gig was.

This will be the closing statement, something catchy…!

It was New Year’s Eve, 1992. A friend and I were walking through the streets of Knysna when we saw a fortune teller and decided to pop in…just for a laugh.

The lady told me many things, I guess they were mostly hits and misses, and I’m a born sceptic so at the time I thought I took it all with a pinch of salt, even when she told me “You’ll have three kids, one of whom will die tragically at a young age.” I was 18 then, I barely even gave it a second thought.

It’s 12 years later though, I’m married, and a dad, and while I remain a sceptic, her words haunt me. I always say that I regret very little that I’ve done in my life, that there is very little that I would not do again if given the chance – this is the exception. No one needs to know “the future” even if it is all bullshit.

I hate that bitch…!

Wow, we all call for a harder line to be taken with criminals, but executing a 16-year old girl for having a “sharp tongue” is a civil-rights violation if ever I saw one. (via metafilter)

A happy medium please…!

As seen on the way back from Kloppenheim. It’s at times like this that I truly appreciate being a vegetarian.

Whatever you do, don’t ask about the veal, or the English sausage…

Sheesh, after the great Wando’s campaign launched recently, I was shocked by the utter crap that Nando’s have aired this week, two blokes with contrived dialogue, poorly delivered, and poorly shot. I can only imagine that this is part of a “watch this space” series of ads, where they start off shite and build from there.

At least that’s what I’m hoping…!

I read in biz-community that there is new business blogger out there. Brian Berkman is a local PR guru, and I imagine, due to the publicity of the recent global PR blog week, has decided to try his hand.

Now, while a glance at his blog shows content that has potential, he does seem to be missing a few fundamentals:
- Firstly, there is no feed, forcing you to visit the site, rather than reading it in a news aggregator, With the term “No feed, no read” getting bandied about so much, this is something that needs to be addressed.
- There are no trackbacks, worse for Brian than for me, but how will he know when he’s quoted? (I guess he can keep checking Technorati).
- Truncated posts, this is by far the biggest sin. Not only do I need to visit the site, but I need to follow links just to read one post! Crazy loco!
- A last weird thing is the display of complete URLs rather than just linked text, I imagine that this is simply part of a learning curve. My suspicion is that Brian has launched without spending much time engaging (reading and commenting) other bloggers

All that being said though, I think business blogging should be encouraged locally, I’m blue in the face trying to get my PR clients to buy into this, so a huge congratulations to Brian for having the guts to be the first…nice one Mr. B.

Onwards an upwards…!

There is a great series of posts on the topic of improv as a marketing tool, over at Brand Autopsy and Johnnie Moore’s weblog.

I remember an interesting, and extremely effective use of this a few years back. Mary Metcaffe, the then minister of education, was quoted in The Star, saying, “If there is any leaking of exam papers this year, I’ll eat my hat” (I’m paraphrasing).

The following day, an ad appeared in the same place, with the above-mentioned quote, a photo of the minister, a bottle of Nando’s extra hot peri-peri sauce, and two cheeky words: “Serving Suggestion”.

Brilliant…!

I was reading and commenting on this post, when I remembered something I’d wanted to address for a while. I support Homeless Talk, the paper sold at traffic lights to support homeless people. However, I think the publisher misunderstands the motives of the buyer.

*Newsflash* I’m (we’re) really not interested in inner city Jo’burg and the plight of her homeless, I just want to support the seller. Thus the articles are not well targeted. Why not fill the mag with jokes and/or short articles that are of interest to the buyer, then I may actually read it. I know I’m not the minority here, no-one I’ve spoken to reads it, but hey…

At least we’re buying…!

Call me old-fashioned, a traditionalist even, but I always figured a boat show (let alone our national boat show) would be a tad more effective if it was near water, not in a city land-locked by hundreds of kilometers.

Life jackets are, however, mandatory…!

I just read the following on a local marketing site, Biz-community

I have a few problems with this. My first problem is that a product has been created for 12 – 17 year olds. Think back to when you were 12, got a mental picture? Now think back to when you were 17. Worlds apart. That 5 year gap is one of the most radical evolutions you will go through in your entire life. It will be nearly impossible for them to create a product that is relevant to all parties, in these cases I find that when you make things relevant to all, they’re usually relevant to none.

My second problem is the slang and lingo used. Phat? WTF? Even when I was 17, I was wise enough to know that my bank was run by professionals, and not other teenagers. I used to find this kind of thing extremely condescending and insulting. It is also bizarre that the word they have used is a ghetto term that is just not used in South Africa, thus reinforcing the fact that they really do not understand the generation they’re talking to. The company responsible for the campaign went on to say this:

Then it’s like the blind leading the blind…!

Nice work boys.

I saw this billboard on the N1 north, just after Beyers Naude. I thought it was taking the piss, but no, it’s legit.

Seriously, what, in the name of all that is not-so-good, is horny goat weed? And more to the point, do you need it? Visit this lady’s blog for about 10-minutes, if you don’t find yourself wishing you were wearing looser pants, Libido may well be the horny goat weed product for you! For an uber-extreme test, you could read this post, but in all honesty, if it doesn’t get you going, not even Libido would help.

I feel a stirring just thinking about it…!

Man alive, I can’t wait until Telkom lose their monopoly, I’ll change my number if need be, but it’ll be worth it just so I can tell them “thanks for shit service, useless call centres, atrocious hold music, apathetic attitudes and bullshit advertising that in no way represents your offering, now fuck off!”

As from today, I’ll add: and for being a “corporate bully” to the list. Telkom are threatening to sue hellkom (mentioned in a previous post) for R5m. Telkom you twats, sure hellkom is a problem, but if you want to do something, try tackling the problem at the source, you must know that you’re crap at even the basics of customer service, do something about that. Might I suggest you read “the ambulance down in the valley”

And regardless, you’re committing PR hari-kiri, you would be far better off just laughing it off.

Long live Hellkom, beat the bastards…!