Stop fucking phoning me!

Seriously, if I want fucking insurance, I’ll get my own, I don’t want your brain-dead, script-reading, call centre people telling me, “Nedbank would like to thank you for your continued support, and as a thank you have prepared a special package for you underwritten by Hollard.

Are you on drugs, how the hell is that a thank you? if you want to thank me, buy me a fucking lunch, or better still, discount my bank charges, you are after all, the most expensive out there.

Oh, and while I have you, if I want my overdraft or credit card limits increased, I’ll ask, I’m sick to death of calling you every time you do this to get you to drop it again. Stop fucking with my accounts, I’m the client, you’re the service provider, it’s time you learnt this.

Lastly, if your IVR makes me insert my card number, expiry date, and first 6 digits of my ID while I’m holding, why does your operator need me to give it again when I (finally) get through?

Get your shit together, as my man David pointed out the other day, you’re not doing so well in customer satisfaction ratings.

Shock. Horror.

Maybe if you spent as much time and money on your customer service as you do on your bloody golf tournament you wouldn’t keep losing clients.

Bah humbug,

Rich…!

Update: Hmmm, this gem has potential.

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