No, actually, you don’t own the fucking road!
Posted by Rich...! under Uncategorized on March 15 2006 at 9:05 PM
(five cyclists giving us the finger)
Okay, so I know my last post gave 2oceansvibe a bit of shit. But fuck me, I laughed so hard I had snot issues when I read their latest post…
| Why are there still bikes on the road? Fuck off now, guys. Pack that little carbon fibre mother fucker away until next year. Either that or you should be in the Alps practicing for the next Tour de France. What did you say? Really! Does your bike really weigh 5 kilograms? That’s fucking astounding! And tell me about those AWESOME clogs you wear on your bike. |
and later…
| I hope they pass the law that allows motorists to gently nudge cyclists on the road. Not with their car, that would be very dangerous! Out the window, with your hand – just a gentle nudge. If you want to abuse the road like you do I think it should be fair to do that. |
I gotta say it, I fucking hate those cyclists (you’re okay Martin, as long as you don’t wear the shorts). Actually on that point, I guess its not the actual cyclists that bother me so much as the clothes. I’m mean really, there’s nothing worse that seeing some fat bastard wearing body-hugging lycra, y’know, just so he’s better streamlined.
Oh, and they have shitty runt legs.
Get a BMX…!
March 16th, 2006 at 7:32 am
I’m with you guys on this one. Bellaire’s Drive is the smallest, shitiest road in the north yet there are always two of these monkeys riding next to each other, trying their hardest to bloke people from driving on a road designed for “driving”.
go build yourself your own fucking Kyalami race track and ride around and around on that and let me drive in peace.
I think I’m gonna keep my big-ass water gun in the car from now on. drive by (water gun) shooting. now that would be priceless.
March 16th, 2006 at 10:31 am
I like the clothes, but only on these kinds of guys (and for obvious reasons) he he
March 16th, 2006 at 5:09 pm
You guys are just pissed cos you don’t have the necesary equipment to pull off wearing those tight lycra shorts : )
June 16th, 2006 at 12:56 pm
I hate fucking cyclists more than taxi drivers and diplomats. I wish I could just drive over the selfish, inconsiderate fags! I was driving along and gave a polite honk to get one of these circus monkeys out of my way, he then told his friends about this and pointed my car out, when we pulled off he gradually started swaying from side to side in front of my car. I then told him to FUCK OFF after which he slapped my poor car! If this arrogant bastard was alone I would have pummeled his bicycle to bits and kicked him in the trash! All cyclists who think that the road belongs to them need to be SHOT ON SITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
June 30th, 2006 at 2:23 pm
Now now guys. There is no need for such an attitude.Are you all just jealous that you can’t look as good as us on lycra?
I am a cyclist and get pissed off myself when motorists come flying past me at hair-raising speeds with barely enough space to fit a sheet of paper between them and me. I don’t mind a quick honk of the horn from a motorist when he is few meters behind me to let me know that he is coming past. It is those fucking idiots who wait until they are up my arse and then SIT on the horn and frigten the seven shits out of me! It is those fuckers who cause the accidents. Are you one of those fucking idiots Nick? If you are then you deserve what you got!!!!!!!!
I myself am a considerate cyclist as I also travel by car to and from work everyday and pass plenty of cyclists along the way, and therefore know what it is like from both sides of the story.
Unfortunatley a handful of cyclists spoil it for the motorists and visa versa. So please don’t generalise about the attitude of cyclists, as there are a lot more of us who abide by the rules of the road than those who don’t.
October 14th, 2006 at 8:59 am
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, shutup sean……………
anyway; “sean” what a stupid name it should be spelt shorne and then maybe the would would be a half decent place
October 14th, 2006 at 9:06 am
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh fuck this is what i ment to write “ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, shutup sean………………………………….
anyway; “sean†what a stupid name it should be spelt shorne and then maybe the world would be a half decent place”
btw Jam you its plain and simple here, you are a douche. now got eat some chocolate and then feel guilty and then spew it up
and yes i know this topic is half a year old but there were some serious issues that needed to be addressed
(sigh)
November 17th, 2006 at 6:21 pm
I hate to sound like a damn tree hugger, but here goes:
Get over yourselves car drivers (of which i am one). You dont own the road. Cyclists have a right to it too. And considering the environmental concerns, we should be encouraging these brave guys who face scary speeding drivers and huge trucks, not abusing them.
November 20th, 2006 at 2:05 pm
Right fuck you Nick and any other twat that decides he’s up for it
In your sad little worlds you feel yer safe in your little gas capsules, of course the road is yours and yours alone, why…well because you’re in a car, a car that takes no skill to drive and by the looks of things very little grey matter.
I dont cycle because I feel I have a responsiblity to a cleaner greener future, thats just a happy side effect of what I do, I dont cycle to purely piss off every motorist, but the grumpy cunts sitting bumper to bumper going no where do make me laugh.
For the five seconds it takes for you to show some consideration to a cyclist taking less than a third of the space your car takes up you are willing to endanger lives, I’ve had friends killed and seen the anguish of the motorist as he sits there waiting for the police to arrive, could he have been just that tiny bit less of a complete fucking twat and saved himself a life of guilt, I have no sympathy for motorists, if you added the amount of times you were held up by a cyclist, it wouldn’t come close to the amount of near misses I’ve had that would result in death.
How dumb are you people, 90% of South African cyclists drive cars during the week, it really fucks me off that the lazy cunts who wouldn’t dare trying something that could possibly enrich their sorry fucking lives have so much to say, here’s a challenge for you next time you’re in london leave a note here and I’ll happily take you for a little jolly around the streets, we’ll see your take on inconsiderate cyclists after that
November 20th, 2006 at 2:41 pm
ROTFL…!
November 29th, 2006 at 11:55 am
get a fucking mountain bike you twats! why fight cars when SA is single track/dirt road heaven? Those fucking tight pants are so stupid. Road cyclists should get a brain, some skill and a life. The new order is MTB, there’s no room forus all. All roadies, please kill yourselves ‘cos you are ALL worthless pieces of shit.
December 4th, 2006 at 7:14 pm
Newsflash – here in the UK cars DO own the road. We pay taxes on fuel and other taxes too. Our money builds these roads for OUR CARS. I have nothing against cyclists, I am an MTB’er myself… but I wouldn’t ride a 5kg road bike on the road. Why? Beacuse all they do it for is sport. They aren’t out commuting in packs of six are they? No, they are racing on the road. When was that made legal then?
Get an MTB, and on a narrow road be prepared to get out of the way for motor vehicles. Givve and take is fine, and as long as they ride in single file that’s OK and I will pass carefully. What irks me is when they ride two abreast and think I’m going to wait patiently to overtake.
Not. On. Your. Nelly.
Thanks!
March 21st, 2007 at 6:53 pm
cannot agree more…i hate the damn fietsietrappers too!
why always next to each other 12 abreast?
and then you moan and complain about inconsiderate drivers? well maybe you should start showing some consideration……and yes…cars DO have more right to the road…taxes, toll fees etc…..
i ride motorcycles, and yes, car drivers are very frequently total f ups, but trying to get to work through parktown in the mornings being blocked by acouple of cyclists using ALL of the road , will get on anyones nerves!
January 21st, 2008 at 5:36 am
the hatred between cyclists and motorists is insane. i ride a bicycle to get to and from work everyday because i cant afford to pay for gas, insurance, car payment, and repairs (if needed). i have come from spending thousands of dollars every year to practically spending nothing. i have also fallen deeply in love with the cycling. i love the fresh air, i love the challenge, i love the fitness, i love the bicycle itself… but i do not love the cruel treatment that i recieve from motorists every fucking day. 90% of the time all i am doing is riding my bicycle in the street (which i pay taxes for) and i get honked and yelled at by someone telling me to “get the fuck out of the road”. fuck off. i am going to continue to ride in the road, where i belong, and continue to ride my bicycle. where else should i ride? the sidewalk is not only illegal but highly dangerous for pedestrians and myself. the grass/dirt is also dangerous and not suitable for my bicycle.
i dont hate motorists. i hate the fact that they are so ignorant to the fact that cars are larger and more powerful than myself on a bicycle and by honking and causing distractions to my riding… i can be killed. wise up. share the road.
as to the clothing that we wear:
it serves a purpose. it allows me to be comfortable in all riding condition. no other reason. if i could rock my normal clothes and be comfortable, i would. but i cant.
January 31st, 2008 at 2:48 pm
iskraight, Go buy yourself some tissues and dry your eyes! I suggest you educate yourself some more and get a proper job so that you can afford a tank of gas. Further more, If you love your bike so much then fuck it! It might produce offspring which you can sell and hopefully buy a car.
I don’t give a fuck about your wining but you and your buddies should get off the road before you become road kill! and no matter what you say about the clothes that you guys wear – you still look gay in them! FUUFF
100% motorist
November 1st, 2008 at 11:52 pm
Eh, cyclists can fuck off, if I had a car that I didn’t care about the appearance of (say, a bakkie), I’d nudge them allright…Off the fucking shoulder and crashing into the thorns and rocks on the side.
Fucking cunts think they own the road, sorry boys but the road was built for CARS. You’re lucky we don’t ram you off the road every time we see you.
January 10th, 2009 at 1:16 am
I understand what these honest, hard working, tax payingcar and lorry drivers must be enduring every day, I share the same seething, burning, undying hatred for cyclists, who clearly do not pay road tax for using our british roads, HOW DARE they.
It adds insult to injury when they think that they own the road, and they have the “right” to be there, they dont.. not in my book. Pay some money, then I will gladly move out of your way as I always do for the honest motorbike users, who actualy work hard for their money and then spend it to legaly use our british roads.
I think its highly insulting to the british tax payer, or any human for that matter, to allow these theives on our roads.. I say thieves becuase they are effectivly stealing the hard working british citizens money.. why should I spend my hard earned cash and have it be used to maintain the roads for the thieves? I know why I am, Its because the govenment is too blind to notice how crippling these theives are to the economy.
The most annoying thing for me, as a honest tax paying motorist, is the fact that these cyclists are the cause of some of britains most deadly car accidents. They simply fail to move over, and give way to the motorist. Its disgusting that if we hit a cyclist, its considered a crime. What is going through the heads of the people who make the law? are they smoking class A substances? Please, have some mercy and think about the people who actualy keep you in goverment, the hard working, tax paying, british citizens. I guarentee, if cyclists were even told to pay a measily £10 a year for the upkeep of our roads, they would revolt, this is just how tight-fisted these criminals are. So my advice to you is, if you pass a cyclist, (if you havent aready run them over) and are aproaching a junction, and are turning left, and you notice the cyclist coming down on the passenger side, ALWAYS move your car as far agaist the curb as possible… this will cause impedance in the progress of the cyclist and generaly get up its nose… I always like it that way, the satisfying knowledge that you sucsessfully pissed a criminal off. makes you kind of feel like a police officer, the sence of duty, and loyalty to your fellow honest road users. the sooner the cyclists realise that the road is a very, very unfriendly and hostile place, and the well known fact that they are truly hated, and are unwanted… then maybe they will see the light and actualy contribute to society and stop being theiving bastards and pay for their use of the roads.
Amen.
January 10th, 2009 at 1:29 am
as above, the same can be said for horse users. they are equaly as annoying, but dont really have an excuse, they have paddocks, why not excersize the horse there…? again theives with too much money think they can abuse the system without anyone noticing/caring and that its acceptable and legal. Insert smoking class A substances routine again….. need I say more.
I do have a small ammount of faith for horse users, when they get their finger out of their arses. They somtimes (very rarly) transport the horses to another field/event, and they do so in a lorry normaly. So I give them credit on that one. horse owners with licenced, MOT’d and taxxed vehicles should be treated with respect, and the above statement is null and void. However, people who use horses as a means of transport or leasure on our british roads that the hard working tax-payer has had to pay for, should be locked up and are equaly bad as the theiving cyclists and should be frowned upon. Remember your mother, father, sister, brother, aunt, uncle could very well be a cyclist, and you should get them to either buy a car or not use the british road system, as its hurting the people who actualy do pay for the upkeep of our road system.
January 10th, 2009 at 2:14 am
I have noticed that a lot of cyclists try to excuse themselves by saying, “Oh but I also own a car and drive it.” and feel this removes them from the need to pay for road upkeep. It probaly at the same time, removes that feeling of guilt they all have, and they also think it puts them in the high position of the other honest, hard working, legal, tax-paying road users thus removing any criminality from their staus.
Il point out now, that if I bought another car, I wouldnt be able to drive it on the british road system without having a valid MOT, Insurance and tax. I would be breaking the law, i cant see how this is any different for cyclists. Just becuase you own and drive a car on the british roads, doesnt mean you can be let off the hook so easily without paying tax on your bike. At the end of the day its another criminal loophole in the system nobody has uncovered, untill now. I mean, do you, the reader, an honest, tax-paying, road user, agree with this kind of crime? I let you decide that one. After all this kind of behaviour will only hurt the british tax-payer the more it is allowed to continue. What right do cyclists have to get away without taxing their bikes? After all its a vehicle, and it contributes to the wear and tear of our road surfaces. who is going to pay for the work teams to re-surface the roads with fresh tarmac? You, me, the british tax-payer. Money that we just cannot afford now. The economy is in such a mess and the government is so up their own arses its unreal, they fail to notice the big picture and fail to stop this crime occouring. The day of the cyclist is numbered, in time people will realise that you are taking them for a “ride” literaly. Some people will not apreciate the fact that you, the cyclist do not tax your road vehicle. Change your ways while there is still time. People do have mercy and so long as you only use the correctly taxxed vehicle on british roads then you are excused, but dont try and cower behind a taxed car that it entitles you to use the roads, it doesn’t! If you continue to do so, you will be unwelcome on our roads. You have been warned.
July 22nd, 2009 at 7:54 pm
You Brit Commonwealthers are weird. All this bile because of bicycles. And you think it is a right or privelege to pay taxes? News flash: Ronald Reagan says it’s the government who is stealing YOUR money.
Can’t you all get along? Or maybe it is because you are all descended from criminals that you all act like ones? How about a little civility? A man climbs on a bike and his life is in danger? Did your mother teach you that? Is that what you will teach your children if and when you have them. “Well, uh, dad is a felon because he used to run over bicyclists. When you grow up you should follow my example.”
No wonder you guys favor gun control–no constitution and no second amendment. You’re all a bunch a freaking lunatics! You couldn’t handle a democracy without a king or queen to tell you what to do. You would probably nuke the neighbor across the street, not knowing it would wipe out your county. I wouldn’t give you a 3″ knife to cook with.
And I guess I won’t ever visit Australia, you have all been such fine examples of hospitality and civility to each other. I can’t wait to see how you treat visitors.
I wonder why the police don’t track down your sorry asses via your IP addresses and arrest you for assault, incitement to riot, terrorism, and various other criminal charges. You’ve all confessed to your crimes. Anal orifices!
August 1st, 2009 at 12:56 am
Listen, the roads are the public highway. They are not owned by motorists or cyclists. Get over yourselves. Live and let live. There are twats in cars and twats on bikes. Drive and cycle sensibly, and wind your necks in. There are more important issues to worry about.
You will be judged when your number is called.
GOD
August 1st, 2009 at 1:11 am
what a bunch of losers. get your fingers/thumbs (delete as appropriate) out of you illiterate asses, and start contributing to society instead of finding girly bitchy reasons for shooting your ill mannered, dim witted mouths off. When is the last time you saw a cyclist tip an ashtray full of stinking butts and ash on to the road. Nuff said! You vile stinking bunch of losers. Cyclists must have priority on the road!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
August 16th, 2009 at 6:06 am
->Yankee doodler,
Im pleased my comment invoked your reaction, I can tell it got right up your nose. This pleases me greatly, as it seems my message had the desired effect. You probaly are one of those very cretins I speak of, who rides a bike on the road without paying. Leaching off the honest tax payer, I know you wont openly admit it, so dont bother, dont even waste our precious air. There are honest tax payers who are dying right this minute who could use the air you are breathing now. Doesnt that seem a little cruel to you? That applies to all cyclists who use the road without paying… not only our friend. You know who you are.
Live and let live, well its hard isnt it, when we have people blatantly stealing from us, Its ok for those who have money isnt it, they can afford a few hundred pounds to go down the drain so a cyclist can use our roads free of charge! Id love to be able to have that level of ingnorance and tollerence, but like all other tax payers out there, I have to make ends meet.
Public Highway, Yes I agree, everyone should be entitled to use it, Ive never had a problem with such a concept. But I DO NOT support criminal activity. These cyclists are stealing the money that the honest tax-paying motorist could have saved, that means they contribute to additonal road wear, that myself and many other motorists have to pay for at their expence!!! The money I could have saved could have gone to charity, or another needy cause. But no, we have to pay for the wear caused my untaxed bicycle users ignorance.
Why dont they stay on the cycle lanes where they belong? instead of creating delays and becoming the root cause of traffic accidents.(Thats why cycle lanes were built after all, you never see cars using the cycle rotues!!!), Im sure they enjoy pissing off road users, im sure this is why they give me a reason to compose this message, as they are obviosuly not aware of the fact they are practicing criminal acts by cycling on roads and not using cycle routes.
If I was pissed off enough, and had plenty of time to waste, I am legaly entitled to perform a citizens arrest, and arrest these crimnals. HOW DARE they think that we dont notice their scheme, at least I can clearly see through it! Why should they be able to have a “free ride” at our expence. No, sorry, it may be cruel, but im forced to act, no way am I allowing theives to steal my money that I worked honestly for to use the road system legaly.
Well thanks for the laugh, I did enjoy your reply Yankee Doodler, im pleased you are not in my country, as if you were, you may get a nasty suprise if you DARE to ride a bike on the road without compensating my losses. May you have luck that I never encounter you, be warned we are forever vigilant, and we never forget criminals that get away, and dont serve time for thier crimes…
however, you are most welcome to ride your bike in the legal and correct manner that doesnt undermine the british taxpayer. Im sure I speak on behalf of all honest british residents who pay taxes to use our roads. If you don’t it is considered insulting, and disrespectful, and a crime! so its your own fault if you decide to ride our roads having been full warned of the likely outcome of your actions.. whatever happens to you is self inflicted! its like pissing on a live electrical outlet, if you know what I mean..
I forgive you for your sins, and I hope you learned an important lesson today.
August 19th, 2009 at 12:52 am
RIGHT LET ME GET THIS OF MY CHEST YEA PPL ON PUSH BIKE SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED ON THE RD Y
I DRIVE A CAR ON THE RD
I PAY TAX YOU DONT
I PAY INSURANCE YOU DONT
IF YOU HIT MY MY CAR WHO DO I CLAIM OF NOT YOUR FUKING INSURANCE NO ITS MY OWN MAYBE I SHOULD DRIVE ON THE PATH
August 19th, 2009 at 12:55 am
and yes when i see push bikes on the rd i give them no room what so ever, and another thing
YOU FUKERS DONT EVEN HAVE AN MOT I SEEN SOME BIKES THAT ARE FIT FOR THE SCRAP HEAP
August 19th, 2009 at 1:00 am
you know the other thing tht fuks me right off motorbikes
i had my windows tinted full limo black all around and the coppers pulled me over and the twat said
sir if you r on a rd how do you expect to see a motor bike coming on your right with your windows tinted
DERRRRRRRRRR
the fuking motor bike should not be overtaking me on the right
AS THE COPPER WAS REFURING TO SINGLE CARRIAGEWAYS
September 26th, 2009 at 9:41 am
ROFL What an absolute bunch of fat pricks you indignant drivers are !!!
Cyclists are on the road by RIGHT, you’re only there by license, remember that.
As far af tax goes, I pay plenty. I pay it on BOTH cars, and my motorbike, so I have a fucks sight more right to ride my bicycles on the road than most of you.
And just remember, if you skim past a cyclist, make sure there’s no temporary traffic lights ahead. That’s the mistake a chave made with me last week
October 12th, 2009 at 8:17 am
Very Entertaining! I do love these reactions!
Yes the chav in questions was showing noobish driving skills obviosuly but that doesnt excuse the cyclist for getting in the way and causing an obstruction. WHY oh why dont you fuckwhits use the cycleroutes if you all claim to be so innocent? Why do you feel the need to occupy my road, that I pay for?
I notice you said you drive a car, why, shoudnt you be backing this argument?? surly there were countless times you were trying to get to work only to have your progress impeded by some cyclist who refuses to move over, and doesnt use the provided cycle routes as the government intended. As a result the only option the car user has is to get delayed, or risk overtaking… but also what the cyclist doesnt realise is that not all drivers are willing to overtake, so some are stuck in the ever-increasing tailback becuase of you. As a result I loose millions of pounds each day due to this problem, that the cyslist causes.
This is why i have zero respect for cyclists, and it will never change, beucase I know cyclists will ALWAYS think they have some place on the road. Untill the time when cyclists use the cycle routes as god intended, then we will all be much happier. Some may argue that I should change my attitude, I dont think I can just let these tree hugging pussies get away with this, If they think im going to back down after all the cyslists have done, they have another thing coming.
In the meantime, im installing a sprayer system onto my vehicle, filled with deadly agent orange, so i can squirt those good-for-nothing cyclists in the face as I pass. I thought what a fucking brilliant idea! I will sell these kits on ebay, for all fucked off drivers nationwide!
If you think you will have time to get my number plate details think again! I have a nice smoke screen system on my vehicle so your view will be obstructed!
Now you may be thinking this sounds like somthing off of whacky races, but the cyclist will realise this is no laughing matter as soon as the agent orange gets them! its only a matter of time.
Who knows… maybe it this weapon will never be used, maybe this message will be more than enough to send fear into the hearts of the cyclists, and will rest quietly on their minds that the road will always be a unwelcoming place for them.
Just stay on your cycle routes and you will be fine. you have been warned.
January 17th, 2011 at 2:09 am
Cyclists can go fuck them-selfs ! Come in the way of my SPEEDING CAR and i will run you over ! then ill report it to the police.
Stick to the cycle paths you cheap bastards.
August 27th, 2011 at 12:34 am
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August 27th, 2011 at 5:58 am
Thanks – Enjoyed this blog post, is there any way I can receive an email sent to me every time you publish a new update?
November 15th, 2011 at 1:23 pm
Please Google ipayroadtax. In the UK, (and many other countiries) local roads are paid for by council and income tax, which means cyclists pay for them too. There is no such thing as road tax. Road tax was abolished by Winston Churchill.
What you pay is VED, which is set by your emissions. You’ll find that green and electric cars also pay nothing.
This means that cyclists also pay for the roads and therefore have just as much a right to use them.
Next time you’re in a traffic jam ask yourself what’s in front of you. Is it a car or a bike? Those of us on bikes mean less cars on the roads. Get over yourselves fatties.