Not too long ago Dan wanted the email functionality on his Sony Ericsson W800i to work. It was working, and then one day, without Dan changing settings or procedures or anything of the sort, it just stopped. So he decided to phone Vodacom Customer Care on 111.

After waiting for the voice prompt and rapidly pressing ’0′ for an operator, Dan waited, and waited, all this time having to be ear-raped by some awfully shitty Simply Red / Mick Hucknall song about someone breaking his heart, and if that person gets what they want, if they know what it is, and if they care. A silly song. A shit song. A song you’ll have in your head for hours after.

After a few minutes Dan was greeted by :: insert muffled name here :: and he stated his dilemma.

“Can you browse the internet?” asked the operator.
“Yes,” replied Dan.
“Then it must be a problem with your service provider,” was the response, “We deal with sending mail, they deal with receiving. Can you send mail?”
“No.”
“Can you receive mail?”
“No.”
“Then it’s definitely on their side.”
“But my phone sends a request to my service provider with my name and password, so that I can then receive mail, and that’s when it fails.”
“I’m sorry, I’ll have to put you through to our Data centre. Next time you have a data query please call 155.”
“Thank you,” said Dan, wishing the idiot would’ve done it sooner.

Vodagun

“Do you get what you waaaaant?
Do you know what it iiiiisssss?
Dooo yooouuu caaaaaarrre?”

So Dan waited, and waited. 20 minutes later he hung up, only because he was on his way into a meeting.

The following day Dan called 155. Pressed ’0′ for an operator, and waited a whopping 1 hour and 15 minutes (on speaker phone on the desk) before eventually giving up and hanging up. Now, Dan was livid.

The following day Dan phoned 111, spoke to a lady and demanded that she not put him through to 155, telling her about his extra long on-hold wait, but that she get a Data centre operator to call him to sort out his problem. Two weeks later, to the day, and Dan is still waiting for his fucking phone call.

“Vodacom Customer Care sucks balls!” – A quote directly from Dan’s very angry mouth.

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