Bliksem…!

We’ve been partnering up with organiser-in-chief Mike Stopforth to help out with The Stormhoek Jozi Geek Dinner taking place on the 5th October in Rivonia Rosebank *blush*.

We seriously hope as many of you as possible will show up, there’s a pretty cool guest, but shit, mostly you should come just to be seen with us – we’re that rock ‘n roll.

As usual The Link will be covering a whack of the bar bill, so you have no excuse.

Go sign up now…!

A suspected thief asked the court to help him with money for transport on Thursday, but quickly backtracked when the magistrate offered to place him in custody so he wouldn’t have to worry about getting to court.

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Hehe. Silly bugger.

I just saw this rad ad for an SABC show on conspiracy theories form an Amercan site of all places.

Nice!

On the topic of TV. …/Ant and I were just discussing TV Licenses. I pay mine on a debit order, but was wondering why I bother the other day. Seems he was thinking the same thing.

Here’s the deal:
- Neither of us own a TV
- We both use projection systems
- They have no TV receiver
- We have DSTV which we pay for separately

Why should we pay for a license for a service we ain’t getting? They wouldn’t sell …/Ant a DVD player the other day because he didn’t have his license with him, that seems silly to me. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not the cost that bothers me, it’s the principle.

Then, on the topic of TV Licenses and Ads, remember this errr, gem of an ad?

“The right thing to do.” pffft, I’ve got a tag line for ‘em

Pay your TV license or we’ll broadcast this ad again…!

Either that, or just sell me a cuppa coffee!

So here’s the deal. The other day Andrea and I took Cal to Cresta to watch Monster House.

Andrea went off to Mugg & Bean to get us some coffee, while I waited in the queue to get some sweets and a cooldrink for Cal. Next thing I hear is Andrea (aka The Government) in a dispute with the manager over the coffee. I left the queue to see what was going on, here’s the converstation we had:

Him: Sorry sir, but you can’t take the coffee into the cinema.
Me: Why not bro, we always do? (we really do)
Him: Thanks for bringing this to my attention, I need to speak to my staff about this as it’s not allowed.
Me: Why not?
Him: Because you need to buy your drinks from us.
Me: Oh. Okay, no problem. Just show me the counter where I can get us a couple of cups of coffee and I’ll happily throw these two away.
Him: We dont sell coffee sir.
Me: Any hot drinks?
Him: No.
Me: So even though I dont want a cool drink, and am not going to buy one regardless – except of course the one I was busy buying, from you, for my kid – you’re not going to let me drink my coffee? Can you give me one good reason for this?
Him: It’s the rules
Me: Keep your fucking movie ticket (which I threw at his feet)

Now I’m the first to admit that my response was a bit childish, but there is no excuse I hate more than “It’s the rules”. I translate this as “I’m a useless muppet incapable of applying logic or reason to an argument, so instead I’ll hide behind the small print.” This irritates me.

Ster Kinekor, firstly, your policy is daft, either join forces with a coffee shop to sell some great coffee, charge a corkage fee for people bringing drinks from elsewhere, or just make and sell your own – but dont force a consumer to buy something they dont want. That’s archaic.

Secondly, hire managers capable of thinking on their feet, when this guy ran out of logical answers, he just hid behind the rule book, this middle-managment Dilbert mentality will do your brand no good.

I think, therefore I don’t manage a cinema…!

Update: I love sheldon’s advice in the comments: “You gotta quit while you’re ahead! Don’t go down the road! If such people had the capacity to debate with you, one probably wouldn’t have started!” Haha, too true…!

Never. In. My. Life.

We were at Joburg Day on Saturday (sponsored by 94.7 and Santam), an awesome day out with friends and new friends too, even smg made an appearance! But,

as cool as the bands and whole event was, it was overshadowed by a couple of skanky-assed fools who’d you swear had never ever seen an umbrella before in their entire lives. Friends of Sean’s were promoting Santam and handing out free stuff, and when they arrived at our spot and opened up a box of 24 umbrellas, they were gone before you could say ‘free goodies, hooray!’

Now, your average South African would complain about free concerts for the underprivileged, when those people, who (understandably) would grab out and reach for free things, and see that as horrific. But when you see a bunch of (one would think at R130 a ticket per person) more upscaled group of people, fighting (really, pushing and shoving) for a free little yellow umbrella, it makes you wonder where you actually fit in this world. Me? I think I’m right on top, ‘cos you’ve got to be fucking shitting me if you want to class me with a bunch of pathetic creatures who’d rip a yellow Santam branded t-shirt right off a youngster’s back.

Animals.

David Potter was at the RipTide Restaurant in Southbroom last week and spotted this beaut.

Now, where exactly is she taking that mower?

Someone once bitched about us here at Jo’blog posting a number of articles “concerned with moaning about the traffic on the roads.”

Have a look-see here, then tell me we post a lot of traffic posts.

Just got this emailed to me.

Blarrie bizarre. Hehe.

We just got “did”.

The Yak wrote a series of “dream posts” by South African bloggers, here’s ours:

So true it’s sad. He’s also done 2Oceansvibe, Chumpstyle, Aquilaonline, Impersonation failure, and Cherryflava.

Very rad read, D’ave and I laughed out loud…!

From Wolmaranstad in North West Province! HAHA! The Reverend and the crew, as well as Critik Footwear have been banned from the town after a town meeting.

This after the artwork on a box of signature SlashDogs Creepers was said to be ‘Satanic’ and therefore associated with the ‘occult’. The incident occurred when a potential customer’s mother saw the packaging for the footwear and didn’t approve of the artwork.  The unnamed mother apparently said, “The box has a chickens head spurting blood everywhere on it and I’m not going to associate myself with people like that.”  A town meeting was subsequently called regarding the artwork, and the SlashDogs and Critik were summarily banned from the town.

The SlashDogs where contacted with the results of the town meeting, and are now providing explanations for the artwork, as they feel that the work has been misjudged and the true meaning been lost in small town paranoia.

Lucky describes the concept for the artwork as “dealing with human weakness and moving from those weaknesses.”  “In biblical terms, a rooster is the symbol of this weakness (Mark 14) and the goats legs are representative of the scapegoat onto which these failings are projected (Leviticus 16) and the nails represent redemption (the connection should be obvious). Not that the album is pro-religion at all, it’s just subject matter that I, as an average South African can relate to,” said Lucky from the SlashDogs.

The idea of muti is also integral to the concept and reflects traditional African folklore surrounding muti and magic. Reverend Wright has responded by saying, “Muti is something which most white South African’s know nothing about. This is where the problem comes in with the lady from Wolmaranstad. She doesn’t know or understand this African tradition. Whether she’ll admit it or not, she is frightened. It is natural for someone to start shouting “Satan” and “blasphemy” when they come across something they don’t understand.”

The SlashDogs are not apologizing for the artwork. The Reverend Wright makes the position of the SlashDogs clear when he stated, “we do what we do, we believe in what we believe and we are NOT going to apologize for it. Don’t #uck with The SlashDogs…we got muti on our side!”” – Casbah Guide newsletter.

(To subscribe to the Casbah Guide mail Jon or Roy)

But when there’s plenty news, you know what that means.

Murder, sodomy, another murder, cops not caring, kidnapping, nog ‘n murder and a murder / attempted rape combo. And that’s just in the last 24 hours.

There is some good news though, National Safety Minister Charles Nqakula told nine safety MECs to make space for violent criminals, as police continue with their crack down on violent crime. And police have uncovered a crime syndicate in North Rand.

Johannesburg – Three people were arrested during a raid at a scrapyard used as a chop-shop for stolen cars in Norkem Park, North Rand police said on Tuesday. Superintendent Eugene Opperman said police recovered car parts of about five vehicles to the value of R500 000 at 14:00 on Monday. A car number plate which was linked to a murder relating to a hijacking in Johannesburg, was also found.
“This is clearly a syndicate and our crime intelligent unit is in a process of profiling the men to establish if they were connected to other crimes,” said Opperman. The men – all in their 40s – would appear in the Kempton Park magistrate’s court on Wednesday. – News24

Okay, so not all news is bad news. Just most.

Ever had one of those really really wanna-cut-your-neck-off-with-a-blunt-knife bad days? Yesterday was mine. Ahem…

1) Woke up with a headache sent from the depths of hell by the Dark One himself.
2) Couldn’t go to gym because of point 1.
3) Booked an appointment with the optometrist, also because of point 1.
4) Left the house, forgetting my house and car keys inside.
5) Organised a car (thanks Sam) and arrived at the optometrist late.
6) Optometrist tells me I need glasses for driving, watching movies and working.
7) Need to buy a key to get into my house, have no cash on me, key guy won’t accept Northgate vouchers, need to borrow a whopping R10 from Rich…!

Then, when I thought my day couldn’t possibly get any worse,
A phone call informs me that, while on vacation at my sister’s, my Lucy got sick and passed away in a matter of hours, leaving Mickey all alone.

The rest of this week I foresee myself winning the Lotto (Wednesday and Saturday), finding a magical lamp together with a genie and three wishes, and God coming down to earth to tell me I have full control over everything and I can do whatever I want, including breaking all the rules, just ‘cos I can.

Sleep well l’il Lucy. Miss you muchly.

They’re right though, Weber’s make a helluva good braai!

Rita Marley, wife of reggae legend Bob Marley, is in South Africa for the launch of Africa Unite 2007.

“Africa Unite Joins Forces with the Emerging Leadership Programme, an Initiative of the Desmond Tutu Peace Centre to Honor the Spirit, Legacy and Music of Bob Marley while Supporting African Youth with The Shanduka Foundation’s Adopt-a-School Programme and The Ubuntu Institute for Young Social Entrepreneurs.” – Yahoo News

Rad. One Love.

Ah, the South, where “Kyk jy my tjerrie?” and “Ek sal jou fokken moer jou bliksem!” are as common as a friendly “Hi, how are you?” in the North.

I was early for a shoot in Meyersdal on Monday and decided to pop in to the News Cafe for a nice cool OJ. After ordering I went to the bathroom for a pee and was greeted by this:

A three-piece mirror.

Now if you ask me, I think they tell people it’s an artsy fartsy mirror, and they’re refined and distinguished and all the rest, but in fact they’ve actually given the illusion of an already-broken mirror so the drunken Southerners wouldn’t hit it, ‘cos someone else got there first.

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But hey, that’s just what I think.

So it’s started. A week ago I really wanted to rip presenter Mark Bayly to shreds, ‘cos the promo ads were terrible. Last night he proved to be an ‘ok’ host, but it’s early days still.

For weekly updates, views and reviews, check out TashiTagg.

Update: Rich…! sent me this link for another fan, with lots of stories and stuff too.

I saw on the news last night (yes, I happen to watch the news) that the Tshivhula and Matshete communities in Limpopo are trying to claim back their land that was allegedly (I love that word) taken from them by whities back in who knows when. Thing is, the Venetia area which they’re wanting back is the 50% producer of SA’s diamonds.

Hmm. Methinks there’s a little more than land-claiming-for-traditions-sake here.

Now look, if something was taken from you, you either fight for it or not, like when little Bradley stole my truck in Nursery School, he got it good. But when I took the truck back I still played with it. These communities don’t want to take over production, they just want something from it, and want production to continue as is.

Now, if you’re really set on getting your land back and building it as your own as a community, wouldn’t you want to BUILD IT ON YOUR OWN AS A COMMUNITY!?! Makes no sense to me.

Anyway, the powers that be are still trying to figure out if the claims are legit, and if they are, Limpopo residents will soon be seeing a rise in fancy schmancy cars and a lot of smiling faces. Hey, I’m sure my forefathers held claim to the whole of Sandton before it was taken over by all the rich folk. I’ll be right back…

It’s September 1st! Time for cleaning the house, pool covers to be lifted, and ‘wow-this-winter-was-full-of-good-food-and-i-need-to-look-good-for-December’ diets.

Why then, is it still so frikkin’ cold!?!

Getting out of bed this morning I almost (I say almost) froze my nuts off. Winter, bugger off, you’ve had your time, now we get warmer. Thanks.

Happy Sbrrrrrrrring Day everyone!