I take it that you guys aren’t big swimmers. I know this because if you were, you wouldn’t have sent out the ridiculous memo that all flags must be taken out of Virgin Active’s pools by last Friday.

These flags are not decoration, but are there to tell swimmers doing backstroke how far they have to go before they need to turn. This makes them safety apparatus. If you don’t believe me, just ask the guy at the VA in Randburg that split his head open yesterday, or look at the bruise on my arm where I hit the wall today.

Apparently your rationale is that you wanted more brand consistency and all clubs had different flags so you decided it best to take them away completely. If you noticed that some of your club’s staircases had different coloured handrails, would you remove them too?

Brand consistency my arse. I’m shocked that I have to explain this to you, but your brand will receive far more negative attention in the mind’s of consumers (and it’s our brand to define, not yours) if you have people repeatedly hurting themselves, than if you have different coloured flags.

Oh, and if it’s consistency you’re after, then I’ll look forward to the new fancy treadmills you’re obviously looking at delivering to Northgate. You know, the ones with the built in TV screens I saw while training in CT this week. That pilates gear is going to rock too.

C’mon lads, this is silly, put back the flags already…!

So tonight was the 3rd Annual SA Blog Awards (and 1st annual boob-flashing-foosball-tournament – “Bring it!”). Lots of local bloggers in attendance, oh, and an international one too – check aquila for the pics. I can’t speak for the rest of you, but I had a wicked-cool time. Much respect and love to our Leechi for being on-site to film and edit a short vid of the gig.

Oh, and a crazy big thank you to Jonathan Cherry for all his hard work – go give the guy some mad props.

Happy blog awards night everyone…!

…and are looking for something to do this month, you could pick yourself up a copy of the (green covered) April issue of Maverick magazine.
Then if it happened to fall open on – oh, I don’t know – page 30, you could have a wee read there. Y’know, just something to pass the time.

Use it, don’t use it.

Use it dammit…!

You know when you sniff, and then you get that gooey stuff in your throat, and then your reverse suction it up your throat into your mouth?

Well that happened to me this morning, as it does, and I coughed up some really really dodgy dark-brown-almost-black goo. I haven’t been sniffing snuff, or even running down dusty roads.

Am I going to die?

So what do you do when you feel like a nice cold beer in a bottle, but you don’t have an opener?
Luckily, if you’re wearing a hat, the right kind of hat, you’ll be okay.

Introducing, the Crack-a-cap.

Link via the most-steady-comment-generating post we’ve written, Free advertising.

I fly at least twice a fortnight, yet I’m sitting here on board British Airways flight BA 6430 from Cape Town to Jo’burg, and felt compelled to stop everything and write this post. This has been without a doubt the nicest domestic flight experience I’ve had in not-so recent memory.

It started at the check-in counter where the guys that were there smiled at me and said that although my bag was pretty big, I was the only guy in Club and would I not rather take it on board with me. I was cool to check it, more smiles all around, a joke about being able to play one-man musical chairs (and win every game), and I was off to the lounge.

There I was spotted looking at the hot chocolate machine that was off for refilling. I said that it was fine but they insisted on getting it back on in a hurry for me. However just when they were nearly were done my flight was called. I got up to leave and was met the hostess coming back up the stairs with the take away cup she’d managed to find for me elsewhere, the other hostess phoned the gate and told them that I’d be down in two minutes. Again, big smiles, and minutes later I was boarding, steamin’ cup of hot chocolate in hand.

Awaiting take off, I was chatting to one of the cabin crew about his goal of becoming a pilot, and the steps it would take him to get into the cadet program, when another cabin attendant came from the back of the plane, saw me alone, laughed and asked if I’d like her to to fill up Club with all the hot ladies from the flight. Not wanting to appear ungrateful, I of course said yes (sadly though I’m still alone). The meal was wicked cool, I was brought three piping hot dishes to chose from, and the meal was served in courses, as opposed to the crammed tray that SAA and Nationwide give you. Finally, when I was done, the Cabin Controller popped by and sneaked me some extra Sally Williams nougat, with a smile and a wink.

The key word here: Smiles, and not the fake Americanised ones, genuine smiles at every interaction. Wicked. Seriously, an all round kick-ass team effort by BA, much respect.

Really makes me regret being the Voyager mile whore that I am…!

Sam spotted this at Woolies yesterday.

Last of the bestsellers?

Best

sellers.

The items that sold the best. Hmm. Then why do you have so much stock left?

Tertia just mailed me this. Seems she’s heard that I’m a bit of a wanker too.

C’mon lads, you know you want to, this is after all what you’ve been practicing for all those years…!

A while ago I posted some pics of our rap jumping. I really didn’t think the pics did it justice, so here’s the vid.

Cool Runnings in Fourways is awesome. Not only is it a rad vibe, but as the night goes on, people start doing weird things.

Above right: Smelly fitting her whole fist in her mouth. Very impressive.

Above left and middle: Our waiter Michael. Not only can this kid lick his elbow, (one of very few people in the world), but he can also lick his nose. And not like just give it a little lick, he can window wipe the thing. Up and down, left and right, figure eights. A talented young man and I’m sure a hit with the ladies.

is you can take pics anywhere, any time, even when taking a piss.

In the bathroom at the Monte Casino Nu Metro. How hectic? That’s disgusting.

So funny. Not in a bathroom, at a toy store in Randburg. Those Orientals sure don’t beat about the bush!

Out with the old, in with the:

Got it yesterday, and I haven’t crashed it yet. Haha.

In our ever-so-humble opinion anyway, and here’s why (brace yourself, it’s gonna be a long one):

Newsflash: 2Oceansvibe has pulled out of the SA Blog Awards due to lack of confidence (looks like someone needs to break out his Tony Robbins’ tapes).

Translation: Seth has exercised his right not to vote for anything. However, it was the community that voted for his blog, and as this is a community competition 2Oceansvibe should remain a nominee. Who the fuck does he think he is (actually, we all know the answer to that one)? He didn’t enter, so he can’t pull out… he is however welcome to ignore it all. Here’s hoping, eh?

Anyway, lets look at this guy’s rationale bit by bit, not because we (or anyone else it seems) actually give a shit whether he wants to be involved or not, you know our feelings on that issue, but more because we think he’s a bit of a twat, and it’s fun…

He starts off by saying that the “awards are in tatters” because of the Sunday Times’ article. We should be clear here that said article was buried deep in the paper and is not available on their site (oops: my bad). A front page expose it aint. Here, read it yourself (thanks Vincent):

Firstly, not particularly accurate Carly, the judges aren’t finalists, the panelists are. The panelist votes only count for 20% collectively, and if you’re nominated for a category, you lose that vote. The biggest vote goes to a totally independent judge, and of course, all the readers. The quotes above are largely taken out of context and some are by people who (granted, not their fault) didn’t have all the facts. It’s understandable though as I believe that the article may have been written by Carly-the-blogger as opposed to by Carly the impartial journo. I do stand under correction here though.

Regardless, there’s some controversy, fine. It’s hardly a shambles though, in fact I believe that the system is far more effective than it has been in the past. Oh, and note well. I say this even though (and to a large part because) for the first time Jo’blog has not received a single finalist spot. I was on the panel btw.

Seth carries on…

Seriously, this guy just doesn’t get it. Hey ego boy, it’s not about you. No one gives a fuck if you want to compete. If they like you, and they do, they’ll nominate you, and they did. It’s that simple. Oh, and no one contacted you because no one contacted anyone. An announcement was made, bloggers blogged about it, and the word got out. It’s a blogging award, blogging was used. What do you want, a gold-leaf invitation? Sheesh bro, welcome to 5-years ago.

Next…

I should say here that it wasn’t Cherry’s choice. There were two panelists involved in this category, I was one of them. We created a spreadsheet with criteria we felt would make the best blog. The criterion were as follows:

- Number of nominations

- Writing style

- Average post length

- Incoming technorati links

- Design

- Conversation starting ability

We went through the 260+ nominees in detail. I logged nearly 10-hours on this. When it came down to it, there were better overall blogs than 2Oceansvibe. Overall bro, dig?

No one was guaranteed a place, no, not even the winner from the last two years. Personally, I see no problem with this at all. Tom Hanks won two Oscars in a row, on the third year, he wasn’t nominated. It comes down to what you did that year. Sticking with the film analogy, the best picture award doesn’t go to the highest grossing movie, it goes to the best overall film – that’s what we wanted to get in this category.

In previous years 2Oceansvibe won simply because it was a popularity competition based on reader votes alone, the person with the most readers won. That’s just not good enough, we wanted to open things up a bit to everyone, there are new blogs out there that are better than the oldies, they’re just not always as popular. Yet.

If you’re still not convinced, ask yourself why Dan Brown’s Da Vinci Code never won (or was even a finalist for) the Booker Prize.

I like that analogy, to me, 2Oceansvibe is the Da Vinci Code of blogging, extremely popular, a read for the non-readers, but largely ignored by everyone else.

*Yawn…*

No, it’s not bizarre, and a coincidence it is because despite someone’s obvious delusions of grandeur, the comments bit had nothing at all to do with any particular site, but rather because we wanted to see which blogs got the best conversation going. That’s kinda central to blogging, and to be clear, it was just one of the many factors listed above.

By now you would all have read the article and you’ll see that no one has been punished for rigging anything, an observation was made and questions were raised – and answered.

So, yeah man, we’re really mortified. Bloggers around the world have always been swayed by the traditional media (you’re really not getting this blogging thing, are you?). The same traditional media that spent years ignoring us is hardly now the definitive guide to what’s right. In fact I will guarantee you that not a single real blogger could care less what the Sunday Times have to say about it all, other than to be pleased by the fact that they noticed at all.

Hands up anyone who wants to cancel the awards because of ego-fuck-wit here?

Ooh yeah, a 2Oceansvibe award. I know just where I’ll put it…!

Just read a kick-ass post over at The Crusoe Effect. Read the whole post yourself, but basically, after trying to change a flight to CT on Mango and getting told that he’d need to pay them over R500 for that bit of customer service (incidentally, I see he was charged more than their online policy quotes for such changes), he had the following phone call with them…

Priceless, well played bro…!

On Saturday at 13h00 I picked up my new car. By Sunday at 18h00, I’d hit a curb and punctured both left tyres. It’s currently sleeping at the Sasol on Witkoppen if you fancy saying, “hi”. How fucking much does that suck?

I gotta say, I was really loathe to buy a Lexus, and nearly cancelled the test drive on Friday, but after testing just about every other car on the road I figured what the hell, and shit, I’m glad I did. This is by far the nicest car I’ve ever driven (with the exception of the DB 9 Mike brought around). It has every toy imaginable, and the service has rocked too.

For example, when I chatted to the kick-ass sales guy, Riccardo, tonight about the puncture, he called me back within two minutes to see if he could collect me and take me home (I’d already bought the car, he had nothing to gain in the short term). Oh, and when I went to pair my phone, he’d pre-named my car “Capitalist Punk”, something he’d picked up from my email signature.

Lastly, when I got home with my new wheels, there were three wrapped presents hidden in the boot; a box of chocs, a rad coffee-table book, and this hand-picked-just-for-me gift:

Made my fucking day that did, wicked-cool touch. I’m thinking this one may just be a keeper…!

We don’t often post about sport, but we’re South African (at heart anyway) and feel that every now and then we should pay homage to one of the nation’s greatest games (thanks Ruan).

Now lets meet the competition.

I wonder how good they are at ball-handling though…!

After dinner on my flight to Cape Town on Tuesday night, I saw a passenger, an elderly man, taking two trays to the back of the plane, then return to his seat.

Either he eats way too much take-away, or he hates having a mess in front of him. Either way, it was my one bit of amusement on the flight, as BA has no fucking drop-down TV screens.

I posted last week about the cherrypicka ticket I bought for yuppie chef. Nice online store, good product, fast delivery… but this is what won me over:

A handwritten delivery note.

Man, I’m easy, but I love this kinda shit…!

So yesterday morning saw myself, Sam, Leechi and Jay on our way to the Sanlam building in Pretoria central to meet some friends. Why? Well we decided what better way to end off your weekend than rap jumping off a 20-story building.

Dude.

A harness around your crotch area revealing your religion is a small price to pay for how totally awesome this experience was. Swinging your legs over the edge is the first big step. Actually, swinging the first leg, and then when you’ve overcome that then swinging the next over. Then, once you’re facing the world, and the ground 20-stories below, they tell you how to actually get yourself down.

It’s simple, in theory, but once you get the hang (excuse the pun) of it it’s easy sailing (again, sorry).

- Leechi

Three jumps, R200, awesome.

- Jay

Only once we got home did I read on the site that for R350 you get 7 jumps and a t-shirt. We bought shirts anyway, but next time I’m getting the other one!

- Sam

Purerush.co.za. The raddest bunch of adrenaline junkies I’ve met yet. And why wouldn’t they be? They jump off buildings every weekend, as well as a whole host of other awesome activities you’ll find on the site.

- Me

We left with bruised hips, sunburn, and some awesome footage. Been there? Done that? Got the t-shirt? Hell yeah! And we’re definitely gonna be going again, doing it again, and getting another t-shirt!

When I was a kid I’d sit outside my house, watching cars go by, trying to name the correct make and model before they got too close (probably just a boy thing), but what I’d be fascinated by was how people walking in the streets would greet each other as they walked by.

One day I was sitting outside with our maid and she greeted a man as he walked by, and he in turn greeted her back. I asked her, “Ellie, is that man your friend?” And she said, “No, I’m just saying hello.”

I was probably about seven or eight years old at the time, and it’s one of those stories you never forget. I was fascinated at how total strangers could greet, smile, and continue on their way as normal.

This morning I walked to the office (about a twenty minute trek) and was greeted by, and in turn returned greetings to all but two out of I’d say fifteen passers-by, and those two were on the other side of the road. A nod, a smile, a heita. Any form worked. I can tell you this though, the walk would’ve been lank boring had I not had some form of interaction on the way, and I’m sure those folks feel the same way.