Did I ever tell you about the time I was at a meeting at SABC? They wanted us to work on a job, Randal Abrahams walked in, I was introduced to him, I said, “Hi” he said nothing, he just looked at me with contempt, so I left the meeting, got in my nice limo, and never bothered to quote the fuckers, no one needs work that badly. Needless to say that I think he’s a twat. But I digress…
After a herd of seasons of the show, and not one idol, pop or otherwise, to their name, the guys realised that the show needed help. So, rather than fixing the problem – the useless judges, if they were sports selectors they would have been fired years ago – they stooped to a new low and hired their ad agency (it’s like the blind leading the blind) to put an actor into the auditions to add drama and create buzz.

I almost hate to post this, as it means they are actually getting some conversation time, however I just hope my contempt is properly relayed.

Oh, as an aside, look what happens when you click www.idols.co.za.

Haha, bet it still won’t sell any records though…!

Update: More here

Update 2: Panic stations people. Seems the ads of the world page has been nuked (cheers coda) haha, busted, fuckers.


Luckily I still have the cached version from my RSS reader, enjoy.

After spotting the window cleaner below, I slowly strolled onto the highway back into Joburg and spotted this.

Similar to a previous one of theirs, but still very cool.

This guy has to clean all these windows, by hand, with a pole. Poor fella.

Spotted in Midrand at a bike dealership.

So it’s our problem that:

-Multiple choice-
a) a few
b) some
c) most

Americans are daft…!

Well perhaps us South Africans may not need to wait that long after all for our iFoon, if the claims by iphonesimfree are to be believed and engadget seems to think that they are (via).

That fucking rocks, I’m ordering mine today, I played with it at length when I was in the states, and yes, it is that good…!

Now that that’s out of the way, my idea:

What do you reckon is the single most naturally produced (and fully wasted) resource during winter? Yup, you guessed it, nasal mucus.

Your nose and sinuses make about 1 litre of snot every day. That’s just one person! 365 litres of snot a year, not including the winter months which generate a whole ton more. This morning I could have easily shot about a litre right into a number of tissues, and in turn right into the toilet. What a waste.

My question is: Why has no-one seen this as an excellent opportunity? Scientists make stuff out of anything, why not snot? It could be used for power, energy, food, you name it, the possibilities are endless. For retrieval, we could set up those recycle-type bins (they’d have to be kept moist to keep the green gold from drying out) and people could collect them. Then the boogies could be separated from the tissue by some very clever machine that does that sort of thing, and presto! We have litres and litres and litres of powerful muculicious snot ready to make us millions and millions of dollars, or rands, either will do.

Seeing as I’m not a scientist, I have no idea what this powerful excrement is capable of, so if anyone out there can think of something, all I want is for you to put my name on it, ‘cos I’ve just sparked an idea in your clever little brain.

I can see it now: FOR EXTRA FUEL CONSUMPTION AND ENGINE CLEANLINESS, FILL UP WITH NEW DON BOOGIES NOW!

Awesome.

You hear it more and more often, there are so many terrible happenings related to taxi’s on our roads it’s crazy. Be it ‘taxi violence’ or accidents, there’s a lot of people getting injured and killed.

Here are 6 such stories, only in the past week, and only the ones reported by News24.

* Taxi hits 3 cars, 19 people injured
* Taxi hits schoolboy on bicycle in emergency lane
* Taxi slams into truck, 21 hurt
* Taxi owner shot dead, possibility of link to taxi rights
* Taxi collides with a car trying to pass another, 22 hurt
* Taxi smashes truck from behind, 22 trapped and killed in burning vehicle

Right. Let me first say that I know it’s not only taxis who cause accidents, but if you’re very honest with yourselves, you get grumpy with at least one on a daily basis. So how do we fix these terrible stats? You got me. If you really think about it, there are a shit ton of very very bad drivers out there.

Years ago, driving home on the highway drunken at 2 in the morning was easy, everyone seemed to be gelling with your flow. Now, driving home sober at 2 in the morning, I shit myself. People drive like maniacs, so yes, I was one of them. But I’ve realised that it’s crazy to risk your life driving drunk, and most importantly risk the lives of others, not just your passengers, but every person driving on the same strip of tar you are.

Because it’s weekend, and that’s the most common drunken driving time of the week, don’t be an ass, drive carefully. Because if you hit me, and you’re drunk, I’m gonna beat the shit out of you, ‘cos you’re not gonna remember anyway. Oh, and that includes everyone hitting Paddy’s tonight too! Eulogy posts aren’t cool.

I’ve always appreciated the concepts, styles, but I can’t recall it actually ever having an impact on me. Well, until this morning.

Sitting at the lat pulldown machine at gym, looking out towards the Northgate parking lot, I saw a truck drive by that said ‘Eggs are magic’. I thought: “Now how the hell is a truck with a half open boiled egg gonna sell eggs?”

Almost every morning after gym for the past year I’ve eaten scrambled eggs (4 eggs only using 1 yolk) and health bread. Good for you in terms of protein content, but definitely not as tasty as normal scrambled eggs. But, when I got home this morning, I got out the pot, boiled some water, and made myself some killer boiled eggs.

Moral of this bizarre story: You don’t need super fancy advertising to sell your product, just a pic of a yummy soft boiled egg.

The little coffee shop on the corner at Banbury Cross has regrettably closed down. Black Steer was very clever, or cocky, to put one of their Specials boards right at the closed front door to bring in more crowds.

Hey, may as well help the hungry folks along! Nice.

Saw this at Northgate the other day.

Now, a good sign guy would actually erect them so that they read properly. But maybe that’s just me…

All I want to know is: How do some (read most) of these people think they can sing?

Most of them are terrible, and while some of them are average, that’s just it, they’re just average. The judges keep saying they’re looking for something different and extra-specially awesome this year, but then again they say that every year, and we all know what South Africa ends up picking!

Oh well, here’s hoping we get some hot half-naked goddess sliding down a pole to the winners stand this year! Instead of supposed rock stars who perform at mall openings…

SA always has talk of sustainability, here’s a prime example. There’s only one ‘Idol’ who’s actually still performing (that you hear about), hopefully our hot half-naked goddess will last longer, and can actually make lots and lots of good music, and videos.

You know those, “SMS ___ to 3884 to donate R10 to ____” signs you see nowadays? As part of our staff charity initiative we recently created a video for FORA, in it we had put one of these lines.
When they came back to us they were debating taking it out, “Why?” we asked. “Well,” they replied, “It’s just not really worth our while, what with MTN keeping 50% of all donations.”

50%!

FIFTY PERCENT!

What the fuck? Look, I’m sure MTN isn’t getting it all, and I understand that people need to make money, but fifty-percent is taking the piss. I just cannot see how they justify this.

Hey MTN, you can’t be that worried about the cash, next time, give the charity’s the lion’s share, and work out how you can get some positive PR from it.

It’s the cheapest marketing you’ll get, and it’ll make a big difference to the charities you support.

That is assuming you don’t enjoy being perceived as money-whores…!

P.S. If you want to give R5 to a really good cause: SMS the word “FORA” to 38844 to donate (ehem) R10.”