Tsk tsk

I giggled…!

…if it wasn’t sent to me by my mother.

I think, and this really is my own 2c, that if you’re gonna do something, it needs to at least be a bit of a challenge.

Salesmen, for example, might think that they could sell ice to Eskimos, but there’s always a little voice in the back of their minds telling them not to drop their game, ‘cos the next victim prospective buyer might not be as easy as they think.

Today’s criminals, however, are just getting plain fucking lazy.

* Crash victims (Eastern Cape’s wheelchair basketball team) robbed by bystanders while waiting to be attended to
* Church choir robbed during a choir practice in the church vestry

No real fighting back in either case. Bizarre.

Thanks big guy…!

So funny. Thanks to Colin Savage for sending it in.

Okay, so I’m breaking Jo’blog’s only rule – that it must be local – but Sam just sent me this clip, and it quite literally brought tears to this tattooed punk rocker’s eyes (both all three times I watched it).

I used to listen to the Nessun Dorma with my great aunt when I was younger, it has to be one of the best musical pieces of all time. Oh, if you want a longer version, watch Paul in the finals.

But turn it the fuck up…!

I have a contract with you, so when something is wrong with my specific contract, feel free to phone me.

The fact that you have some other things that you want to sell me is not my problem!

Vodacom, Discovery, if you ever phone me again I’m gonna shout and make a fuss you’re gonna have to put a black mark next to my name with a warning. I kid you not. I’m a busy guy, wasting 30 seconds waiting for your poorly paid telephone consultants’ hello message to end, to eventually tell me why they’re phoning, and for me to tell them I’m very very uninterested, is really a pain.

I heard on the radio the other day that as part of the new FICA laws*, even though you have an account with someone, they’re not allowed to phone you about other crap. If this is true, you guys are seriously gonna come short if you phone the wrong guy, or if you phone me again.

Dicks.

* Doc download here.

“Although I was Absinthe from the office for several months, I wish to remind you that I Amstel the Minister of Health, am not a dictator but I Amarula and I will continue to Rum the Department of Health,” she stated, announcing her return to office.
When quizzed on her health, she mentioned she had recovered well. “Of course I am well, she retorted. “I am more than well – I am OKWV! Ask a stupid question and get a stupid Hansa.

Despite being asked about her new liver, she made no reference to the Morgan transplant.
President Mbeki has rallied around his friend: “She has my Absolut support. That is why I wiped the silly Smirnoff her deputy’s face! The opposition will not be able Tequila career.”
Let’s face it, no matter how many times the DA has stirred, the Minister appears unshaken and despite her career being on the rocks, she is still a Mainstay of the ANC government.

Thanks to Seano for the email.

A conversation last week:

Person van der Afrikaans: “Don’t you know how to sokkie?”

Me: “No…”

Person van der Afrikaans: “So what do you do at weddings?”

So cute.

South Africa has proven it’s aquatic worth, not with our swimmers this time, but with our Navy skills.

“The SAN submarine, SAS ‘MANTHATISI managed to penetrate an anti-submarine screen of 7 ships, undetected, and “sank” the high value target that the screen was trying to protect. After this she turned on the protecting screen and managed to “sink” the balance of the remaining surface ships.”


“The South African media, and indeed the public at large, are celebrating the fact that the SA Navy has proven to be equal – and in some instances superior – to some of the best Navy vessels afloat. The new vessels acquired by the South African government are proving their worth and the SA Navy are using them to reaffirm its ability to effectively protect South Africa’s maritime interests off the Cape of Storms.” – Full story here.

Big up to us. Next time anyone wants to attack us in the water, they’d better think twice. SAS ‘MANTHATISI is gonna get way up in their grills yo!

Okay, so I still need to get it unlocked which, worse case scenario, happens end Sept, the wifi works perfectly though

A small degree of jealousy would be appreciated…!

Or at least one guy, and a girl who thinks like a guy. Here’s why:

At a party on Saturday, I was in a conversation with 3 girls. I noticed that one of them had one of those metal Camel cigarette box covers, and I asked if she ever washed it or gave it a Handy-Andy-once-over every now and again, ‘cos it must get bit manky after a while I’m sure.

So she tells us this long story about how it was accidentally left somewhere or other and the thing got mixed with the clothes in the washing machine. She ends the story off with:

“And that’s the first time I washed my box!”

Right.

Laughing? I didn’t, ‘cos none of the chicks even gave a hint of a funny connotation-notice or anything! I looked around frantically to see if any of the other men in earshot actually had the honour of being part of this Freudian genius, but alas, I was alone. If I had said something, anything, laughing by myself, I would’ve been the ‘dirty guy’, again.

So from now on, I’ll be in no conversations if I’m the only guy. It hurt having to keep that gem inside all this time. Glad it’s out now…

“Pietermaritzburg – Restaurants that have been stung have put out an alert to other eateries to beware of an Indian man calling himself Jason Pillay, who has targeted establishments at Liberty Mall, Scottsville, Cascades and the Golden Horse. Some have been ripped off more than once.”
- News24

The dude orders food and drinks, but when he’s shown the bill, he gets nekkid!

Crazy. Or is he?

I reckon he thought he had a winning formula, but this story isn’t that chilled to talk about. Everyone knows about it. He’s busted. Poor fella.