South Africa’s most audacious television personality, Gary the Tooth Fairy, is spreading his wings into new territories. For the first time in the history of the National Grahamstown Arts Festival – and local entertainment, for that matter – a mystical phenomenon will be performing on stage in his very own, unique live comedy show.

Gary the Tooth Fairy will be sharing his distinctive magical view on the world with audiences at the St. Andrew’s Hall in Grahamstown, daily from 22 June until 2 July.

M-Net viewers have seen the master illusionist, who unsurprisingly is the local individual with the most fans on Facebook (90 000), walk on water, communicate with birds and do all things fantastic to steal the limelight away from the country’s number one general entertainment channel.

Gary’s show will be gutsy, daring and different, with all the ingredients to boost his cult status. But will he take a dig at the broadcaster? Will the phenomenon in the tutu-shaped pantaloon pant peel back mysteries like why the Tokoloshe still owes him money and what the real colour of Santa Claus’ suit is. What is his comedy show all about?

All Gary the Tooth Fairy wants to – and can – reveal at this stage is “that … uhm … it’s a masterpiece … it’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to laugh your molars out … if you miss it, you will want to rip your wings off … It’s CLEVA.”

The show is directed by veteran comedian Rob van Vuuren, produced by Whacked Entertainment Management and sponsored by M-Net. Tickets are available at Computicket.

Watch the TV promo here.

I’m not a fussy guy (okay, that’s a lie), but when I’m sitting in your restaurant (Maestro on Malibongwe, that means you), and I order a decaf coffee, it’s not a figure of speech – IT MEANS I WANT A FUCKING DECAF.

If you don’t have it, just tell me.

I was up wide awake at 2am plotting all the miserable things I wanted to do to you. You’re lucky I’m feeling more rational, if not a little tired, today.

Still, next time I come there I’m gonna poke you in the eye…!

A few years ago I was chatting to a mate of mine about the Rand Show. He asked me if I was going and I said “No, I went last year and the year before that, it’s the same every year” to which he replied “Yes, but you’re not the same every year”, which made so much sense.

Last year the pool features on display wouldn’t interest most people. But, if you’ve recently bought a house, with a pool, the display is now suddenly something you’d consider looking at. This is only one silly example, but you get my point.

As the years go by, and we grow up, we appreciate more and more. As another Fathers Day has come and gone, I’ve grown a new respect for fathers other than my own. Fathers who are also my friends. I’ve realised that as time goes on I’m lucky and privileged to be able to see how my mates are raising their kids. I’m silently and unknowingly learning from them, subconsciously formulating some sort of strategy as to how I will one day raise my own little army of handsome devils that will see me as their hero.

This post is really just to commend all the fathers in the world, especially my mates Rich, Mike and Simon, and for letting me steal their ideas on daddyhood. If I can take all the awesomeness from each of them, my children will take over the world. I can’t fucking wait.

A few months ago I was introduced to Fiverr, a service where you can either sell or buy something, particularly a service, for $5. The administrators make a buck off every sale and you get to pocket the remaining $4. Simple enough.

The services range from promising more Facebook fans to positively reviewing products to listening to your life story on Skype, the list goes on and on and they range from very normal to very, very bizarre. To date I’ve only used it for small translations for work, but then I found this guy: The young, Canadian Alex Buckingham. He said that he’d write and record a song all about YOU for a mere $5. So I thought “Fuck it, why not?”

With the brief “Have a look at my website and some of my vids to get a sense of what I’m like”, I paid the 5 bucks and this is the fun (auto-tuned) result I got the next day, too awesome. Thanks Al.

Now go and get yours done! Tell him Don sent you.