The store manager of Pick ‘n Pay at Coachman’s Crossing in Bryanston is definitely putting smiles on some wrinkly faces.
All day, every day, there’s a trolley at the front of the store full of bunches of flowers for the elderly to take home with them, for free.
What a nice guy.
Thanks to Jan for the pic.
Do you ever travel and miss home? If you do then Detroit could well be the holiday destination for you, with their proposed Africa Town (thanks Adam), you’ll never want for anything.
Some expected highlights:
- You need to bribe your way in
- Military coup theme parks
- Land re-distribution parties
- Travel in the van during a real life cash-in-transit heist
- The restaurants don’t actually have any food to serve
- You have a one in five chance of leaving with AIDS
- Random fatal giraffe attacks (I shit you not)
They’d also have the hottest woman on the planet, so I’m there…!
So, Gold Reef City isn’t the utopia of joy and wonderment it once was. We paid (a lot) a visit to it regardless on the weekend, and were not that impressed. Some of the reasons:
- The queues for each ride rival those at the Louvre. We got to go on 1 ride the whole day
- Everyone is sweaty and smelly
- The service is shocking
- There’s a hanging stench of urine and candyfloss that you just can’t get out of your throat
- The prices
- Bus-loads of loud, untrained children (who are only marginally dirtier than the rest of the place)
- Bloody long queues
- Mining really isn’t as much fun as I remembered it…
We tried to overcome this by getting a bit of education, visiting the other exhibitions and being our usual, hilarious selves, see example.
1. “I call it ‘Mini-mine’…” Said in evil, slightly nasal voice
2. “What is this?A mine for ants?!” said in stupid, lispy, Zoolander voice.
But, to no avail. This place is not about history and learning, it’s about fun attractions. And we didn’t get to experience them, due to the amount of other people not experiencing the same things.
And, possibly because of perceived legal issues, they’ve done this…
Not only do you not get to go on the rides, which is the only reason you would ever go to GRC, but the few that you can go onto, have had the fun sucked out. Dodge’em Cars? I don’t even remotely see the point. What’s next? A ride called ‘StandAroundandHumminator’? ‘House of Drying Paint’?
It’s a cruel lesson to learn, when you realise your childhood was a load of fibreglass miners, commercialism and waiting.
I was listening to the mid-day report the other day, and heard about a group of Wits students trying to make the Guinness Book of Records by staging the worlds largest pillow fight.
They failed.
By half.
Apparently just 800 pillow-wielding warriors arrived for the showdown, the record is 2000. I hope they try again, we’ll lend a pillow or 17.
Alternatively, there’s always this party…!
Just saw this sign on the way back from a meeting in Rustenburg:
Well, we hung about for a while to take the picture, and at last search, I still had my wallet, and we also hunted high and low, but alas, we couldn’t find a hooker anywhere (lunch time rush?), but that’s okay though, we had Liza:
She’s still there if you’re interested…!
Just spotted at a Sandton cafe.
Not to be confused with bukkake, (click at own risk) despite the mozzarella topping.
Yummy….!
Big up to OldSchoolAndy for proving to us that the most expensive seats definitely aren’t always the best.
Booyah brother…!
I can’t begin to describe how awesome Friday night was. The Offspring played in our beautiful country, and it was beautiful. Never before had I gone so mental as I did that night. It was absolutely killer!
The night started off with people rushing to get good positions, and we all waited there for a long time until it all started. Boobs were aplenty, with all girls on boyfriends’ shoulders feeling compelled to flash them off when they saw themselves on the big screens. Hey, we’re not complaining! It was hilarious, whenever you saw a set of knockers on screen the whole crowd would scream “Yeah!”, until one unlucky gal showed off a really-not-so-nice pair to which the crowd went “Ooh…” in a very negative type of way. Shame.
The event started off with young punk band The Finkelstiens playing probably their best set I’ve heard them play. They’ve grasped the concept of “less talking, more playing” and it works. Next up were the back-together-again Springbok Nude Girls that played every track to a tee, and kept the crowds screaming all their old favourite tracks that got them to where they are today.
Then…
Wow.
What a show. Every bit as fucking awesome as what I’d imagined it would be. They intro’d with the intro from the ‘Splinter’ album, which kicked the springs in my legs to high gear, and absolutely owned that audience for the reminder of the set. Intermission was held, and we were entertained by a really, really, really fat dude in a very little Speedo and super-hero cape. It rocked! Like I said, I really can’t describe how amazing it was. To those of you who joined me in one of the best nights of my life, you know how I feel. To those of you who unfortunately missed it. HA! Sorrie fo’ you!
Thanks to Rich…! and ../Ant for supplying us and our partners with a night to remember for a very long time. Also, a big Boo-ya to ../Ant for being a trooper and braving fighting the crowds with me so we could pee before Offspring started. Big up yo’self!
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The good folks over at Mugg and Bean have decided that latte drinkers do not deserve a cookie, while cappuccino drinkers do. Now it’s a really small point, and if you ask you’ll get one, but it makes you wonder about the conversation that took place when the rule was made. I’m betting that someone sat one day drinking a cappuccino and suggested, “we should serve biscuits with these.” and was taken literally. Things like this happen all the time. Banks do it, restaurants do it, they call it segmentation, they think it’s really clever.
They’re wrong…!
SAA’s new eticketing service rocks, to be honest I think my joy has a lot to do with the unbelievable inefficiency of their previous system, but anyway…
You simply arrive at the check-in counter, hand them your drivers license, tell them where your going, and they give you your boarding card, I had mine less than 2-minutes from the time that I entered the queue, and I had a bag to check.
Quick, efficient, nice…!
I walked towards my car last night after arriving back from a two-day shoot in Gabarone. I was thinking how I want to post about how relieved I am every time I see my car in the same place I’d left it after a trip, this being South Africa, a country that’s loves to support criminals.
So I throw my bags in the back, get in the front and reach for the radio. Great, no radio!!!
The first thing I thought of was how nice the thieves were by locking my car again, just in case other thieves would want to steal anything else of mine. Such nice guys, those radio thieves. They’re always so much more courteous than other thieves. The thing I’m most pissed about is that I had my new Taking Back Sunday CD in the bloody thing! It would have been much better if they stole the whole car, ‘cos it has a tracking system. That way, hopefully, I’d get everything back.
They say bad things happen in three’s. First the McD’s incident, then my radio. Can’t wait for the next one!
…why the founders of Fontana Roastery went into the chicken business instead of opting to edit the Oxford English Dictionary? I know that it’s kept me awake many a night.
This was spotted by Ross and Melissa at the Douglasdale branch.
Mistry solved then…!
John and I were between a meeting and a shoot today and decided to stop off for some McD’s. We enjoyed our quick meal and were on our way.
Two minutes after we left we heard a gunshot, then another three or so, then more. Naturally, John and I shat ourselves and I sped away as fast as I could.
After hearing that it made the news, did I remember that we saw a Freeway Patrol car at the Drive-thru and we commented how they should be on the freeway, patrolling.
Now, I’m actually glad they were there, ‘cos they must’ve rounded up those shooters faster than you can say poopty-peupty-pants-s-s.
Imagine their surprise, they must’ve thought ‘Okay, the cops will probably arrive in five minutes or so, which gives us plenty of time to run away.’
At this point, I laugh at them. Heehee.
